Lynette Louise


Before You React, Read On

My son likes to pretend he is Retarded!

Before you get angry at him, read on:

When he was young he was diagnosed as globally retarded with fetal alcohol syndrome and autistic-like mannerisms.

Before you get angry at me, read on:

I did NOT drink during pregnancy. I adopted him with these diagnoses.

Before you get impressed by me put your focus back on him and, read on:

My son is 35 this year. He has accomplished much in this life. He has been fully independent since he was 19 and worked a steady job since he was 17. That is more than most men without a diagnosis, let alone three.

Before you forget to see the miracle in this, read on:

My son likes to pretend he is retarded because he used to be and isn’t anymore. And even though most people would find that to be in very bad taste, I think it’s brilliant.

Before you get judgmental, read on:

I think that playing with the mannerisms of a special needs man feels funny to him, and maybe even a little fun, because of the feeling of familiarity. He has always been a bit of a clown; both in school and around the house. So this silliness makes sense, matches him in more ways than one.

Before you decide it’s time for him to STOP IT, reconsider:

I think the juxtaposition of dropping in and out of this special needs character helps him feel his own progress, helps him continue to grow and distance himself from the old slow moving style, resets the speed at which he must function and operates like a break in the pattern that prevents him from getting overwhelmed.

The truth is people do things for a reason. Understanding the reason helps us appreciate and see all people in all their multi-layered glory.

My son likes to pretend he is retarded!

And I love that about him. Because he has used it to solve his own problem and also because he is my son who likes to do this; loving him requires loving everything about him. Pretending to be retarded is just a part of his shtick, his story, and his overcoming.

My son is no longer retarded. He is a miracle of overcoming and before you forget to be impressed, read on:

My fetal alcohol syndromed, no longer globally retarded, no longer on the spectrum of autism man/son is a hard working, sweet, funny without-being-mean adult with honorable intentions. He has owned homes, travel-trailers, trucks, and equipment, etc. He has had several intimate relationships, some good and some bad. He is training for his second career while working to maintain this pattern of paying his own way. My son never graduated high school, or even managed to get a GED. Instead, he learned as he went along, only what he needed to know. He didn’t lean on drugs (prescribed or otherwise) or systems of assistance. He just worked, overcame, worked, overcame, worked overcame.

And because he is focused on working at being a success he is one.

My son is impressive and he likes to pretend he is retarded.

My son is a lesson in what really matters and I thank him for teaching me.


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