Tag Archives: parenting

Lynette with Tsara

My Mom as a Mom vs Me as a Mom – Regarding Gender

My daughter, Tsara, wrote a blog post earlier this year (click on the following link to read it: Born a Girl). It is quite amazing, as is she.

Every once in a while I read something my children have written about an exchange between them and I. Always, I am amazed to discover how lovely they remember me to have been. I am relieved to be remembered in the very light I hoped they would remember me in. Blessed to discover that any time I have suffered typical mom guilt, they did not also find me guilty.

Generally, when my children write their memories, I am surprised to rediscover how seldom we remember the same events and conversations. How differently we store our past. However, in this blog my daughter has a footnote that reads:

*I’m not sure mom said that part, about being able to choose to become a boy, but I know she might have. And I remember thinking it at that time, so she probably either said it, eluded to it, or simply left room for me to consider it.

This time, I do recall that my daughter asked her question. I do not recall my answer but:

When I was a child I went to my mother with similar misinformation. In my case, I told her that I remembered being a boy and was looking forward to being one again. She laughed at me and humiliated me by bringing me in to tell the story again and again and again every time someone new dropped by. I cried myself to sleep a lot over this and swore I would be better if I had a daughter who wanted to talk about things like that. I kept my eye on the subject, and even made friends with people who were transitioning from one sex to another. So when it was my turn to be a parent I was ready.

I’m so relieved to see that I passed the test. And yes, I probably said you could chose to change it.

If you don’t understand what I am talking about it is because you haven’t taken the time to ready her blog. I suggest you do. #motherdaughter #gender

Love and direction

Love in the Direction of Healing

A friend of mine asked a question which led to an answer that I have refined for this post. I hope it helps someone.

Love alone isn’t enough to heal brains and bodies.

Love alone isn’t enough because some people’s idea of a loving act is incorrect for the circumstance and is actually going to further the problem or condition. That is how we end up with co-dependencies between people, etc.

It is love with direction, and not just any direction but an “independence building self love and appreciation” type of direction, that heals.

Most people don’t know how to love this way. So, someone has to direct them to give the correct direction. And so it is that we become a society of health or ill-health promoting beliefs. The leaders in media religion and politics propagate… the state of things.

Unless we choose for ourselves.

This statement also applies to therapies and medicines.

In the end, its not the therapy or the concept of love that heals but the knowledge and intention of the leader, the therapist, the lover and the client culminating in chaos or coalescing into health.

Many medicines and therapies are just there to keep us alive and hopeful until we figure this out.