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“Seeking The Leadership Path” with guest Tony Scruggs (aka The Empathy Guy)

Compassionate Leadership – The Empathy Guy, Tony Scruggs, examples the power of empathy and compassion in Leadership. His definition of Leadership (spoiler alert!) encompasses that compassion: “Initiate Greatness with Inspired Guidance.”

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: Describing himself as a spiritual-being experiencing life as an American of African-Ancestry with an athletically-professional pedigree, Tony Scruggs is a paradigm maker and transformational speaker incorporating restorative justice & social change with personal power & nonviolent communication (NVC). Tony is a compassion coach, a human variation specialist (whose empathy training includes time in India with the Gandhi family) and once upon a time he played major league baseball for the President of the United States. To learn more about Tony (while having fun!) visit his fantastic website: https://theempathyguy.com/

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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking The Leadership Path” with guest Annie Potts

Hardship and Testing Your Metal – Renowned actress Annie Potts reminds us that we can build power and brilliance out of our hardships. Annie shares some of her hardships with us, brilliantly offering Leadership tips by example. We all recognize Annie from her film and stage roles. Here she invites us to know her from her heart; which is brilliant, too.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Go Fund Me for Kemarley in Anguilla that Annie mentioned: https://www.gofundme.com/2kfvay7s
Guest Bio: Annie Potts is an American film, television and stage actress, with a deep love for the stage. She is known for her roles in popular 1980s films such as Janine Melnitz in Ghostbusters (1984) and its sequel (1989), Pretty in Pink (1986), Jumpin’ Jack Flash (1986) and Who’s Harry Crumb? (1989). In the 1990s, she voiced Bo Peep in the animated films Toy Story and Toy Story 2. Potts is also known for playing Mary Jo Jackson Shively on CBS sitcom Designing Women (1986–93), Dana Palladino on Love & War (1993–95), for which she was nominated for an Emmy Award, and Mary Elizabeth Sims in the Lifetime drama series Any Day Now (1998–2002), for which she was twice nominated for the Screen Actors Guild Award for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series. In 2012, she starred as Gigi Stopper on the ABC comedy-drama series GCB. Check out her IMDB page here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001633/
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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking The Leadership Path” with guest Angel Marie Monachelli

Why Shine? – When we shine we learn better, we feel better, and we draw people to us. In Leadership shining can be one of your greatest assets. Speaker and author Angel Marie always felt as though she shined differently, which encouraged her to get to know, understand, and harness her shine. Here she shares that ability with us.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: Angel Marie Monachelli, founder of the Shine On! movement, is a powerhouse in a small package. Diagnosed with dyslexia at an early age, she was called stupid and told she would probably not graduate high school. Though severely challenged she not only graduated, but went on to college on a sports scholarship, receiving her degree, and ultimately becoming one of the youngest players in Women’s Major League Softball. Turning her hard-gained experience overcoming adversity and obstacles into an asset, Angel Marie now travels the country presenting keynote speeches, seminars, workshops, and retreats on effective living and enhancing self-esteem. For more SHINE visit Angel’s website: http://angelmarieshines.com/
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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking The Leadership Path” with guest Janie Lidey

Lean Into Your Own Gift – With the power of music Emmy-Winning Songwriter and speaker Janie Liday leans into her gift with music in order to Lead. She shares her gift of music with us and offers tips so we, too, can lean into our unique gifts for successful Leadership.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: Janie Lidey is a retired high school music teacher with a gift for making a difference in her students through music. Janie is a speaker, author, Emmy-winning songwriter, and creator of Leap of Faith: 8 Daily Habits to Power up Your Leap. Visit Janie’s website for more inspiration and music: http://janielidey.com/

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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking The Leadership Path” with guest Lesley Nardini

Grown Up Sexy – In this fun video renowned speaker Lesley Nardini shares her thoughts on the three pillars of Leadership. The girl talk gets increasingly intimate and fun as the creator of Grown Up Sexy gives us specific tips for staying vibrant!

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: Lesley Nardini is a highly sought-after Corporate Keynote Speaker and Workshop Leader who speaks for audiences ranging from 20 to 20,000! Recognized as America’s leading expert on delivering exceptional customer service with the personal touch, Lesley is an award-winning international speaker and author who has delivered more than 1,000 presentations in more than 30 states and 7 countries for several Fortune 500 companies. Visit her website to learn more: http://lesleynardini.com/
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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking The Leadership Path” with guest Greg Reid

Success is Freedom – With passion and brilliance renowned speaker Greg Reid counsels us (the word “counsel” means more after the video!) on how he Leads by example. He then offers us – exclusively! – an equation for success that is both profound and easy to apply.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: Greg Reid is an author, adventurer, speaker, and filmmaker. Published, co-authored and featured in over 50 books, 28 best sellers in 45 countries, five motion pictures, and featured in countless magazines, Greg shares that the most valuable lessons we learn, are also the easiest ones to apply. Recently, Greg has been hand selected by The Napoleon Hill Foundation to help carry on the teaching found in the bible of personal achievement – Think and Grow Rich. I encourage you to learn more and visit his site: http://www.gregreid.com/

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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking The Leadership Path” with guest Rob Kall

*Please Know that this video cuts off partway through, interrupting the brilliant guest (sorry Rob!) but the conversation is still worth listening to.*

Bottom up, Top Down – It’s all about Balance. Rob Kall, Editor-in-Chief OpEdNews.com and Host of The Rob Kall Bottom-up Radio Show discusses the value of grassroots Leadership.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/

Guest Bio: Rob Kall has spent his adult life as an awakener and empowerer– first in the field of biofeedback, inventing products, developing software and a music recording label, MuPsych, within the company he founded in 1978– Futurehealth, and founding, organizing and running 3 conferences: Winter Brain, on Neurofeedback and consciousness, Optimal Functioning and Positive Psychology (a pioneer in the field of Positive Psychology, first presenting workshops on it in 1985) and Storycon Summit Meeting on the Art Science and Application of Story– each the first of their kind. Then, when he found the process of raising people’s consciousness and empowering them to take more control of their lives one person at a time was too slow, he founded Opednews.com– which has been the top search result on Google for the terms liberal news and progressive opinion for several years. Rob began his Bottom-up Radio show, covering the transition of our culture, business and world from predominantly Top-down (hierarchical, centralized, authoritarian, patriarchal, big) to bottom-up (egalitarian, local, interdependent, grassroots, archetypal feminine and small.) Recent long-term projects include a book, Bottom-up– The Connection Revolution, Debillionairizing the planet and the Psychopathy Defense and Optimization Project. Allow yourself to be Awakened by visiting Rob’s author page here: http://www.opednews.com/author/author1.html

 

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with guest Jonah White

Leadership Is More Than The Person Who Goes First – A fascinating storyteller with fascinating stories to tell, Jonah White (of the reality television special, “Billy Bob’s Gags to Riches” on the Discovery Channel) shares his vision of Leadership and Success.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: Jonah White grew up very poor. His family sometimes ate roadkill in order to have meat on the table. He moved to Illinois with his mother and father in a school bus in his early teens, and after graduating from high school he planned to focus on a career in football. However, professional football did not happen, so he lived in a cave for a year and tried to figure out what to do with his life. He came up with an idea for novelty fake teeth. Without a way to manufacture his idea, he ended up pretending to be a student at the Southern Illinois University School of Dental Medicine so that he could use their lab to build prototypes. He eventually partnered with Rich Bailey (who also practices true dentistry) to create Billy Bob Teeth, a massively successful novelty and gag toy supplier. Billy Bob Products now also offers plenty of other novelty gifts. He was the subject of the reality television special, “Billy Bob’s Gags to Riches” on the Discovery Channel. Learn more about Jonah in his book The Billy Bob Secret…. To Life, and grab yourself a novelty item here: http://www.billybobproducts.com/store.php

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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with guest David Albert Pierce

Unify To Achieve The Mission – David Albert Pierce is an entertainment lawyer with heart. Here he talks candidly and comfortably with us about how he uses heart in Leadership; unifying groups and corralling his dreams to achieve diverse missions.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: David Albert Pierce is Managing Member of PIERCE LAW GROUP LLP. David predominately represents independent film and television production companies, including some of the most respected companies in Hollywood. David’s production counsel practice is diverse and includes representation and counseling in the areas of entertainment law; employment & labor law issues in the film & TV industry; intellectual property; internet/new media law; securities law/film finance, clearance & rights issues, as well as matters concerning crisis management on the set. David is a frequent lecturer on the legal issues confronting the entertainment industry, and has served as an adjunct professor at UCLA Extension on “Organizing, Financing and Running A Start-Up Entertainment Production Company” for the past 10 years. David is also a frequent lecturer at film festivals around the country. He is a regular columnist for MovieMaker Magazine and is the author of several entertainment law articles. http://piercelawgroupllp.com/attorneys/david-albert-pierce/
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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with guest Erik Peper

A Message That’s Meaningful To You – Erik Peper, Professor of Holistic Health of San Fransisco State University, shares specific biofeedback tips easily implemented for confidence. Meanwhile he reminds us to focus on our message as Leaders; which inspires confidence.

Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: Erik Peper, Professor of Holistic Health of San Francisco State University, President of the Biofeedback Federation of Europe, loves exploring new ways of empowering people to optimize health and wellness. He also maintains a private practice, visit the website here: https://biofeedbackhealth.org/

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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with guest Jeff Kasky

Set Goals That Mean Something For You – For Jeff Kasky a goal that mattered was helping kids in the foster care system find permanency with a family that would be something wonderful for them. A lawyer and adoption mediator, Jeff offers tips to help us find our permanency.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: Jeff Kasky of Kasky Mediation Group is a mediator and lawyer. Before embarking on his legal career in 1993, Jeff was a music and entertainment agent in New York City, including a stint in the prestigious William Morris Agency’s Agent Training Program. In addition to his career as an attorney whose practice has been concentrated almost exclusively on adoption law, Jeff has been involved in law enforcement for approximately twenty years, and has been a fully-certified and sworn police officer (reserve) since 1999. Jeff’s experiences in entertainment, adoption, and law enforcement give him a unique perspective from which to approach these types of cases as a mediator. http://www.kaskymediation.com/
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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with guest Korby Banner

A Genuine Smile – Renowned photographer and beauty expert Korby Banner offers an entire stylists kit worth of appearance tips to help us be seen as a Leader. We tend to believe sight more than any of our other senses and Korby helps us take advantage of that!

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: Korby Banner photographs internationally for a broad clientele, ranging from fashion portraiture, editorial lifestyle, fitness and beauty-related packaging, magazine print publications, corporate brochures, red carpet and media events. His photographic images are seen on magazine covers, book covers, CD covers, ADS, posters, travel brochures and billboards. Early in his career Korby Banner executed commissioned portraits of Harrison Ford, Sophia Loren, Tony Bennett, Joan Collins, and Oscar de la Renta, to name a few. Korby has also appeared on ET Canada, Breakfast Television, CP24, Canada AM, and many Rogers lifestyle programs, speaking as a writer and internationally recognized beauty expert. Aside from the photography, Korby also excels as a make-up artist, and was featured for seven seasons in the hit makeover TV show, Style by Jury, airing globally. He approaches each assignment with equal interest, because he feels it is a great privilege to work in varied facets of commercial life. Visit Korby’s beautiful website here: http://www.korbybanner.com/

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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with guest Walt Grassl

Willing To Be Uncomfortable – Terrifically shy but certain that he wanted to make a difference in the world, Walt Grassl talks to us about choosing to get over his stage fright at age fifty and the Leadership that can be found in being uncomfortable in front of an audience.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: Walt Grassl, at the age of 50, chose to face his fear of stage fright. It was not easy. He joined Toastmasters, but that alone did not cure him of this “disease.” He attended speaking boot camps, competed in Toastmasters speech contests, studied improv and stand-up comedy. Walt has performed stand up comedy at the Hollywood Improv and the Flamingo in Las Vegas. He has performed in improv and sketch comedy shows put on by Held2gether, in Long Beach CA. He recently retired at 55 from a career in aerospace, and is now the host of the internet radio show, “Stand Up and Speak Up.” Learn with Walt and visit his website here: http://waltgrassl.com/

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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with guest Mark Breslin

Disparate People Under One Vision – Growing up in the 60s as a radical advocate and accepted in fringe groups, influential Yuk Yuk’s comedy club co-founder Mark Breslin shares his vision of Leadership for our eclectic audience.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Guest Bio: Mark Breslin is a Canadian entrepreneur, stand-up comedian and actor best known for being the co-founder of Yuk Yuk’s, the largest chain of comedy clubs in Canada. He also graduated from York University with a B.A. Honours in English Literature. Breslin has written four books so far – Zen and Now (Somerville House), a popular Brian Mulroney joke book Son of a Meech (Random House), and an autobiographical novel, Control Freaked (Insomniac Press). Mark also wrote and narrated two 5CD audio book, published by Harper Collins, titled “Yuk Yuk’s Guide to Canadian Stand-Up” and “Rarities and Road Warriors”. Add to this innumerable book reviews for The Globe and Mail, The Toronto Star and The Quill and Quire, and his monthly comedy column, now in its seventh year, for the Village PostMagazine. Breslin is also a much sought-after public speaker. Selected speaking engagements have included the American Comedy Institute in NYC, the Big Bear Comedy Workshop in L.A., Association for Campus Entrepreneurs (Toronto keynote address), York University Cultural Studies Program, York University Department of Philosophy, Toronto Jewish Film Society, Variety Club of Toronto, MENSA Society of Canada, Glendon College Alumni Association, among others. Learn more here:  https://yukyuks.com/?action=aboutUs.markbreslin

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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with guest Frank Caruso

An Artist Is In Business – Owning pizza stores while writing, directing, producing, and acting seem like strange bedfellows. But in this video Frank Caruso shares how understanding business is valuable in Leadership and doing what you love.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Frank Caruso commenced his show business career in commercial theatre, performing more than twenty lead roles in such classics as: The Odd Couple, Chapter Two, It Had to be You, Lovers and Other Strangers and Barefoot in the Park. As a veteran Director and Producer, Frank has forty-five stage plays, eleven feature films, and numerous commercials and video productions to his credit. Frank’s first feature film, No Angel, which he wrote, directed and produced, aired on Arts & Entertainment, Superchannel, City T.V., Movie Pix, London Television (UK) and sold to over a dozen foreign territories. It was also screened at the Montreal International Film Festival in 1992. (Insider info: Lynette Louise was in the film!) Learn more about Frank on his IMDB profile: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0142300/?ref_=nmbio_bio_nm

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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with guest Howard Lapides

Leading from Behind The Scenes – Howard Lapides is a producer and manager, successfully putting people and ideas in-front of audiences nationwide. Here he discusses how that compliments his definition of Leadership: The Person That’s In The Front Able To See More Than The Rest.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Howard Lapides is a producer and manager, known for The Man Show (1999), Freddy Got Fingered (2001) Stealing Harvard (2002), and Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew (2008 – 2011). Check out his full IMDB profile here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0487505/

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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with guest Simon Rakoff

Negative Leadership vs Legitimate Leadership – While eating a bagel renowned comedian Simon Rakoff discusses (between bites) the important differences between Leading via authoritarianism or fear and leading through inspiration and collaboration.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Simon Rakoff has been performing stand-up comedy since 1978. Considered one of the quickest minds on the scene, Simon is a veteran who performs with the enthusiasm of a newcomer. He is widely regarded as one of Canada’s top MCs and has appeared at clubs, pubs, campuses and corporate events across Canada and in the US. Simon’s act is carefully crafted and full of thought-provoking, hilarious routines. He covers religion, relationships, stupidity and man in the modern world. Learn more about Simon at his Super website here: http://simonrakoff.com/
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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with guest Kenny Robinson

Honor the Material – Award winning comedian Kenny Robinson and Lynette Louise return to their roots of entertainment Leadership. Remembering the Leadership Kenny once offered Lynette, together they offer us hard learned (and cleverly laughed at!) lessons.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Kenny Robinson’s irreverent, socially conscience, intelligent, opinionated and profane style of comedy has made him a fixture and favorite with comedy clubs, festivals, swingers conventions, radio, and television audiences for three decades. Raunchy, energetic, sharp witted, and sharp dressed; Kenny Robinson is a one of a kind act. Not for the weak of heart or narrow minded. Kenny assaults your sensibilities and funny bone with unspoken truths. Learn more about Kenny here: http://www.kennyrobinson.com/bio.html

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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking The Leadership Path” with guest Justin Sachs

Your Influence and Support of Others – Upwardly mobile motivational entrepreneur and successful business owner Justin Sachs discusses his belief in supporting others through effective Leadership.

Learn and network with influential Leaders at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leadership-summit/
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Justin Sachs is the chairman of the board of Justin Sachs Companies, a group of companies that provide high-level services to business owners, entrepreneurs, and corporations worldwide. Sachs work has been acknowledged by presidents, congressmen, world-renowned business leaders, nonprofit executives, authors, and entrepreneurs alike for his ability to achieve extraordinary results. Visit Justin’s Amazon page here: https://www.amazon.com/Justin-Sachs/e/B002WVBPQ8/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1
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This Virtual Leadership Summit asks several International Leaders their definition of Leadership and Success. Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad facilitates the discussion and gathers advice from around the globe.

“Seeking the Leadership Path” with Guest Sharon Burstein

 

Be the Better Best Leader You Can Be – beginning work at the young but wise age of 15, Sharon Burstein has continuously moved forward, leading the way and inspiring others. As is her passion she offers tips to help you find your personal better best leader-self.

Learn and network with influential Leaders (including Sharon!) at the Albany Leadership Summit: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leaders…
Purchase your copy of The Seven Senses of Leadership: http://www.lynettelouise.com/book/

Sharon Burstein is an award winning author, and one of America’s most respected speakers. She has trained and spoken to thousands of people of all ages, students and adults using her training and leadership methods. Through her speaking, training, consulting and coaching, Sharon inspires people, building their confidence to achieve more success in life. She enables people to create and recognize their inner and outer Leadership Image. Sharon has created numerous award winning books and programs, has been recognized and received numerous awards for her career achievements and leadership. Her high energy and enthusiasm that she brings to everything she does is contagious.
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The Virtual Leadership Summit “Seeking The Path” invites many Internationally renowned experts to answer the same three questions. Sharon Burstein has been leading others both via the corporate world, the world of event planning and education for many years. Lynette and Sharon are planning a live event in November. To learn more follow this link: http://www.sharonburstein.com/leaders…

A Humanitarian Award and a Leadership Invitation

I was invited to accept a People Of Distinction Humanitarian Award in Washington, DC last week. The annual event is hosted by Al Cole from CBS Radio, a communications leader, author, musician, and speaker. Every year his prestigious People of Distinction: Unsung Heroes Awards event gathers humanitarians and other action oriented world changers from around the country to celebrate a select few who go above and beyond for our human family.

What an honor that I was chosen to be among the honorees this year!

pod-award

My grandson was showing off my plaque to all his friends. It made me realize, I should show it off too! So here it is! I’m showing it off to you, friends!

And while we’re here showing off, I hope you’ll join me in November for the Albany Leadership Summit where I’m honored to be a speaker, sharing the stage with a few other brilliant speakers. I’ll be sure to have copies of my newly released book The Seven Senses of Leadership: The Brain Broad’s Guide to Leadership Sensibilities with me, but I encourage you to purchase one now and bring it along in case they sell out. I’ll happily sign it for you!

Follow this link to learn more about the summit and to purchase tickets: Sharon Burstein, Leadership Summit – Albany 

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The Seven Senses of Leadership – Highly Anticipated Leadership Book by Renowned Brain Expert Lynette Louise (aka The Brain Broad) Released in Paperback

Aug. 28, 2016 Simi Valley, CA – Internationally renowned mental health expert and award winning author, Lynette Louise, released her highly acclaimed Leadership book, The Seven Senses of Leadership: The Brain Broad’s Guide to Leadership Sensibilities, in paperback on Aug. 20th, 2016 – in time for the upcoming American presidential elections.

“There is absolutely no way to get information into our brains other than through our senses,” Lynette Louise, also known as The Brain Broad, explains. “Being a good leader who can create a clear exchange of information– as well as choosing the leader you wish to follow – at its most fundamental level requires a complete awareness and recognition of our senses. Great Leadership requires an even deeper grasp in order to enable the clever composition of messages which must be received via the many sensory paths of the individuals in any team or group.”

This understanding of our Leadership Sensibilities is something The Brain Broad shares expertly with readers in her upcoming book. Via an expert exploration of brain science, a poet’s gift with language, and a mother’s love for teaching and sharing knowledge, Lynette has crafted a Leadership book that engages, informs, and expands all of our senses.

“This is a fascinating book which is coming out at just the right time. The art of leadership is a major topic of conversation worldwide, and The Seven Senses of Leadership presents a holistic view of the relationship between leaders and their teams, and the essential elements of leadership that will teach you to lead with strength and intelligence. This is a valuable how-to guide for leaders everywhere.”

– Jeff Hoffman, co-founder of Priceline. Com, and co-founder of ColorJar

Because Lynette is an international mental health expert, working successfully with people who have various challenges and abilities, it’s not surprising that she also makes clear through various leader examples – i.e. Helen Keller – that , “You do not need to have access to all of your senses – Smelling, Seeing, Hearing, Balance, Feeling, etc – in order to be a Great Leader. Many magnificent leaders were and are functioning with fewer than seven senses. But they are aware of and able to communicate via all them.”

“Take my word for it; this book is all about what you need, and don’t have, when it comes to leadership talent; equally to emergent and assigned leadership. This book will help you harness and understand your influence using the tools you already have, your seven senses of leadership.”

– H. E. Tamer Hegazy, Global Minister of Entrepreneurship (From book introduction)

Whether you’re choosing a political leader, becoming a manager or a CEO, heading a family, or seeking a sense of self, The Seven Senses of Leadership offers you a surprising, in depth, and delightful glimpse into the world of constant information sharing through the senses; giving you knowledge and understanding necessary to lead (and follow) with confidence and awareness. Granting complete access to our Leadership Sensibilities.

The Seven Senses of Leadership: The Brain Broad’s Guide to Leadership Sensibilities is published through Motivational Press and is available for Kindle on Amazon (and was number one in Leadership Kindle books on Aug. 17th and 18th) and became available to purchase as an eBook and Paperback through various other online retailers (Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Powell’s etc) on Aug. 20th, 2016.

Price & Purchase: Kindle – $9.99 / Paperback – $19.95

Pages: 188 (Kindle) / 222 (Paperback)

ISBN: 1628653221

Contact Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD: Doubly Board Certified in Neurofeedback and working on her PhD in Psychology with a specialty in Psychophysiology at Saybrook University, ww.lynettelouise.com/ www.brainbody.net / EMAIL: mom4evermore@juno.com PHONE: 713-213-7682
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About Balance

There are a lot of tips for staying emotionally balanced and I would love to offer them to you!

However, sometimes by giving a lot of tips I run the risk of having the most needed information glossed over by my overwhelmed reader. So instead I will share what I see as the most un-thought about, un-talked about, notable aspect to swinging in and out of balance: Transitions!

All emotionally reactive people have transition issues when dealing with unexpected (and expected) circumstances. This leads to an unnecessary rise in stress levels. I can illustrate this with a traffic example:

People often get into traffic at the end of a long day. They are tired and say to themselves “I can’t wait to get home.” to have some form of enjoyment. So they verbally reinforce and fall into their exhaustion. Then they try to rest while driving. However driving requires alertness and mental flexibility so these different needs clash and cause outbursts. This is easily corrected by learning to transition correctly. Instead of decompressing in the car and waiting till you get home to have fun, activate your neurons (which keeps you alert and mentally flexible) by letting the fun begin in the car. Instead of dropping out of balance slide into the next emotional/energy state with intention. By bee-bopping to some tunes while appreciating the alone time it becomes easy to move from stress to comfort, even if traffic stops you from moving forward in the car.

So, to be clear, try getting in the car and thinking: “Okay, now the fun begins! I’m going to put that plot driven novel I’m listening to on!”

Too many people think the way to calm themselves is with calming music. If you are tired and this refreshes you, great. But most people slump into a meditative state while driving when they do this and they then become more inclined to scream at cars for interrupting their reverie. If you are a screamer and you are tired, it is better to go for the noisy expressions of joy in order to transition from work to home. Thus for the stressed out driver a favorite rock music station is often the more calming choice.

The point is to understand that you are transitioning, that moving from environment A to environment B has an effect on you. So take control of the situation and discover a way to do it comfortably, safely, joyfully. For clarity lets look at this in reverse. Perhaps you are just arriving for your work day. Perhaps you usually love your job but on some days you look around for a problem. On this day you are probably tired or otherwise stressed at home. On these days it is common for you to pull into the parking lot at work and see the car of someone you don’t like working with. Immediately you self talk and create an emotional reaction. This is a form of transitioning sluggishly. You can choose to feel stress and annoyance about having to deal, yet again, with “Bob,” or you can transition into the mentally stimulating work mode brain state right there in the parking lot. Pull out a phone or computer and check email, write a memo, get transitioned into something you find interesting so that now the brain is thinking about work (instead of “Bob”).

Today brains are overwhelmed by multitasking so they are exhausted. Transitioning for a tired brain is harder, leading to reactive emotions and a less balanced brain. So it is harder now than in the past to remain flexible and calm, unless you use tools and tricks to help make transitions easy and fun.

Of course, there is always also this breathing technique: Breathe from the tummy, hold for eight seconds, and exhale. It slows down the heart and re-balances you but for some people even deep breathing is counter to their need for stimulation. Get to know yourself. Be a self student with the plan to be happy, everywhere.

Globe Trotting, Ground Breaking Docu-Series, FIX IT IN FIVE with THE BRAIN BROAD, Begins Second Season on The Autism Channel – April (Autism Awareness Month)

FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD Season Two:  San Francisco, USA

April 12, 2016, Simi Valley, CA — Season two of the evocative and eye opening international autism docu-series FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD begins airing April 15, 2016, in time for Autism Awareness Month.

Season one introduced viewers around the world to a small family of two in Kampala, Uganda. Everyone quickly adored and learned with this mother-daughter duo: Over the course of five days, Lynette Louise (aka The Brain Broad) taught both mom (Milly) and her seizure ridden seven year old daughter with autism (Trisca) valuable life skills/play techniques and enough neuro-science to use neurofeedback for brain function. As promised by the series host and creator, Lynette Louise, culture, finances, and diagnosis were explored, respected and, when possible, corrected. Never considered unworkable obstacles.

The highly anticipated season two invites viewers into the home of another small family. But that’s where most similarities to the first family end! Five intensive days are spent with Jody and her teenage children Gina (daughter, 17) and Xavier (son, 13). Xavier’s autism is in a pivotal place as the close-knit family struggles to cope with the sexual inappropriateness of autism, tics, and family depression.

“This might be my most important show,” Lynette suggests. “I’m called into homes around the world to fix violence too often. Mistakenly believed to be inherent in autism violence is often exacerbated during puberty and drugged into silence during adult life. People need to see this show. For everyone’s happiness and safety, they need to know what to do before (and when) it gets dangerous.” Lynette adds, “If you know what to do the danger dissipates entirely.”

FIX IT IN FIVE explores challenging, sometimes controversial, topics. Season Two, for example, compares Applied Behavior Analysis vs Child Centered Learning and reveals how the common approach is complicit in creating the violence that is then blamed on the condition of autism. While this show never shies away from a subject, it engages while offering actionable answers, infectious inspiration, and comprehensible brain science. Understanding what is happening makes improvement easier as the family learns to Fix It In Five. This show makes you want to get off your seat and engage with the world in new ways!

Using campy humor, a personified oversized brain full of toys, and entertaining graphics, the tone of the series is always hopeful, kind, playful, and engaging. Lynette’s adoration and respect for the families featured is always on full display. Viewers quickly fall in love!

Season Two of FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD will change lives. On April 15, 2016, you are invited to be one of those lives. Visit The Autism Channel’s website for scheduling info, and Lynette Louise’s website for more info on the series, or to purchase/rent season one in its entirety.

Contact Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD: Doubly Board Certified in Neurofeedback and working on her PhD in Psychology with a specialty in Psychophysiology at Saybrook University www.lynettelouise.com / www.brainbody.net / EMAIL: mom4evermore@juno.com PHONE: 713-213-7682
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Money Isn’t Good Or Bad – We Are! #HealingHumans

Money isn’t Good or Bad. We Are!

When I came to Texas I married a millionaire. That didn’t work so I walked away in the same fashion I had lived… penniless.

After that I married a multi millionaire. He was happy to spend four hundred dollars on a romantic dinner but hid in the taco bell bathroom rather than spend forty dollars on my children.

Then I befriended a multi multi millionaire and she was instrumental in my learning who and how to trust. She broke my predetermined opinion into teeny little pieces.

My parents had often fought over money. It seemed to me that money was bad but that I was supposed to want it. So I guess I set out to prove both of these things in my choice of men.

Eventually I overcame that conditioning and made my own money.

Many wonderful people have helped me do good work along the way. Some of them were rich and contributed greatly some of them were poor and contributed greatly.

I have literally been gifted the shoes off a person’s feet so that I could continue my journey of making a difference in the world.

I have been carried in the arms of others. Often.

This is a tribute of gratitude to all of you who have and will continue to help me help others. Thank you for being about love and unity.

Money, Time, Energy, Focus these are all tools. Use them well.

#HealingHumans

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Cerebral Palsy and The WingMaker: An Important Story Gets a New Look For Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month

 

March 18, 2016, Simi Valley, CA – March is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month. In honor of raising both awareness and understanding Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad and her publisher (Motivational Press) have decided to re-release the renowned book, The WingMaker, and give it the new name, Cerebral Palsy and The WingMaker, along with a slightly new look.

Cerebral Palsy and The WingMaker
The story, which is told in rhyme and accompanied with emotive images, is of Reazon, a twelve year old girl with Cerebral Palsy. Reazon’s ability to use her body is severely limited but her ideas, imagination, and desire to participate and play are not. The tale of how Reazon discovers creative ways to prove her possibilities and her gifts, along with help from her mom and new friend Happy-Ness, is one that all families living with a loved one who has Cerebral Palsy, or any other handicap, would want to discover. So adding “Cerebral Palsy” to the title makes it easier for that audience to find. It makes sense.

However, when asked why she felt compelled to change the title Lynette, a mother of several super challenged children, replied, “I wrote this true and necessary story because of a true and sadly common situation my son and I experienced.” She tells of an all too familiar cruelty. “I was in the grocery store with my autistic son when an older man said to him, barely glancing to be sure I was out of ear shot, ‘Your mother should have had you put down the day you were born,’ and he walked away. I followed that man until I saw him meet up with his wife, who I spoke to directly. ‘I think your husband needs help with something.’ I suggested. Then I told her what he had said and explained that my son had understood him. Knowing, too, that my son was understanding me while I insisted on his value and ability. ‘Perhaps you can help your husband appreciate my son and children like him in the future. The wife was appropriately horrified, and I walked away knowing I had to share a story that would be read by people like him in the future.”

Read customer reviews and purchase a copy of Cerebral Palsy and The WingMaker on Amazon, Motivational Press, Barnes and Noble and other online retailers.

Cerebral Palsy and The WingMaker is based on an experience Lynette had while playing with a young girl. Make-A-Wish® paid Lynette to bring happiness to a child with Cerebral Palsy. From this experience Lynette found her answer to how she can help other moms in her position, by sharing the story. And that is why she gave Cerebral Palsy and The WingMaker a comic book appearance, so that it could be left on any coffee table or office magazine rack tempting the uninitiated to read, learn and change. In this way she hopes to spread grace, love and understanding for all those moms, dads, brothers, aunts, and disabled individuals who need the world to believe in what they don’t see. Until, hopefully, they see.

Lynette 2

The new name will introduce this book to the “right” audience, making it easier to find. It will open new eyes to the value of everyone. Reazon, the twelve year old hero with cerebral palsy, will be able to meet new friends and bring more than just awareness to a community that craves it.

To schedule an interview or to get more information on cerebral palsy, mental health challenges, parenting special needs, or the book itself please contact Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad.

Contact Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD: Doubly Board Certified in Neurofeedback and working on her PhD in Psychology with a specialty in Psychophysiology at Saybrook University www.lynettelouise.com / www.brainbody.net / EMAIL: mom4evermore@juno.com PHONE: 713-213-7682
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Expectations and Explanations Before Accommodations

Editor’s note: Keep in mind that many socially accepted expectations are ridiculous and need to be challenged. We recognize that and actively work toward making change.

I went with a mom to Disneyland. Her son was entering puberty and VERY inclined to outbursts and meltdowns.

I used matter of fact energy and “carefuller arms” (his term for when I would put my arm out to barricade him from hurting someone) while explaining that to continue forward on the tree house he must show love and concern for others.

He was doing GREAT when his mother showed up with a front of the line pass for special needs people. I explained that this action would solve today’s issues but reinforce the meltdowns in the future.

In other words, he was learning that being a problem solved the problem.

This is the type of thing that causes a division between the parent and the expert. When he is with me he is well behaved. When he goes places with his family he requires accommodations.

We all love him. But he is learning to be fragmented into two different people.

I have seen this with my own children as well. Only in reverse.

With my own children I was the parent insisting they learn and the experts were the ones accommodating or talking down to them while asking for meaningless compliance.

Three of my four multiply handicapped adopted boys graduated from autism and became successfully independent, one is still climbing up the spectrum.

They were less benefited by accommodations than explanations, expectations, no justifications and lots and lots of practice time.

Oh, and one more VERY important ingredient. I only asked them to learn what they needed to know for their particular journey.

Love, by the way, is a given.

Lynette’s Law: Parenting Our Kids To Be Effective And Kind

This was originally written for Kars4Kids Educational Parenting Blog.

I have a general rule of thumb that has been termed Lynette’s Law. It is basically a rule of engagement. I call it “Four Compliments To One Correction!” It teaches you how to be an effective person that is kind.

People like rules, instruction manuals and systems, so teaching people how to be kinder requires rules just like everything else. Unfortunately, kindness rules are a type of interaction oxymoron because being kind means throwing out the rulebook and putting the other person’s actual wants into the equation. So how can I have a kindness law?

The question is a valid one and presents quite a conundrum initially. After all, rules stand between us and free will. This is especially true when they are followed blindly. So open your eyes and think about them, consider each rule and its applicability in your situation. Rules are meant to be bent, not so much broken. Shape the rule to fit your circumstance and your family’s circumstance, or the rule will shape you, your family and your circumstance. In other words, if you are unwilling to bend the rule the rule will bend you.

Used as a gift that inspires analysis and sophisticated thinking, rules improve your free will rather than impeded it. They facilitate cooperative ease and keep the drivers on the appropriate side of the road. Thus, a little rule based living is needed if we want to build a successful system, even if that system is a system of humans being kind.

So yes, adding rules to learning how to be an effective person that is kind is a dilemma, but not an unsolvable one. You only need a few rules of engagement to get the job done. Safety rules, like look both ways before you cross, especially in a foreign country where they may drive on the other side of the street. Manners on occasion are required, like let the lady who appears close to giving birth step ahead of you in line. And Lynette’s Four Compliments to one Correction Law. Insert Lynette’s Law into almost any interaction and you will be an effective teacher, parent, lover, boss, who is kind.

I have read a lot of theories about compliments adding too much responsibility to the person being complimented. Theories that imply a good compliment builds fear and resistance. These theories have some basis in reality but they are drawn on a misunderstanding of compliments and corrections. Corrections are simply adjustments, like driving your car and constantly nudging the steering wheel enough to stay between the lines. If the wheel alignment is sound your car will follow a straight line for ages without needing a correction but most roads are windy and most cars veer a little, so correcting is a simple adjustment of trajectory. No judgment, no failing. The compliment is a reinforcing of the thing that is going well. No resistance comes from having what comes easy appreciated. For example, if a child is learning to walk but loves standing, compliment the standing. Shore them up and make them strong before they venture forth.

So, if you have been told not to compliment your child, student, friend, employee, because they will grow resistant, you have been mislead. There is no such thing as over confident, though inaccurately confident is a problem and resistance when incorrectly complimented can be born. Specificity solves both.

For example, let us say I want a child to sit calmly in their chair when in a restaurant. Start by catching them being this way and noticing it. Let us say (s)he is resting on the doorstep for a minute, exhausted from running. Match the child’s state and sit down with him or her. This makes you a friend, not a bossy complimenter of sitting who is modeling that sitting sucks. 1) Mention how nice it feels to be together in this way and 2) How much you enjoy when (s)he sits with you. 3) Suggest a time in the future just like this when you will be happily visiting in a restaurant and everyone will think he/she is 12 not 8. Mention that if (s)he is has dirty bare feet in the restaurant they won’t let him/her in because they are worried about germs and injuries. 4) Then say thanks for the moment, and drop it.

Those were your four compliments (anything positive is a compliment) and your correction (any adjustment to the present behavior).

Later you can suggest wearing her shoes to get used to feeling grownup.

Let’s say your child is now sitting in a chair eating breakfast. You catch the child being good and point it out. 1) Explain how nice it is since her/his cloths stay clean and (s)he doesn’t have to stress about being messy at school. (Compliments are about what matters to the other person not solely about what matters to us.) 2) Add an extra treat for breakfast and point out that you got the idea because his/her calmness gave you time to think. 3)Thank him/her for this blessing. 4) Smile and give a thumbs up. Now show how the cutlery will be used in the restaurant, explain how using it correctly will signal the waitress when she is done. Corrections are about giving information that empowers a person, not about bringing them down to size.

So to be clear: Catch them behaving well, explain what’s cool about it and why you love seeing them do it. Add a benefit (real or imagined). Then make the correction matter to their own self-vision, like noticing their posture and mention how it rubs against their other goal of being a fashion model. Extend gratitude for the connection.

Remember the correction is not about what is bad or even what they are doing wrong so much as what is counterproductive to their goal.

While doing this you become a person who smiles, compliments and shares wisdom applicable to your audience, the child. You become happier. It helps you like you. It helps them like you. All because you began by liking them.

As it turns out, all good parenting is primarily self-serving.

This is true of bad parenting too. The difference lies in understanding the methods and the goals.

The goal should be a happy parent, boss or teacher raising a happy student, child or employee. We are all capable of having this. Unfortunately most of us have been misinformed to believe that unhappiness leads to happiness; that hard work, boundaries, discipline and self-sacrifice lead to happiness. The truth is happiness comes first, and when you’re happy the hard work becomes fun work.

Don’t buy in to warnings of future danger like, “If you pay your employees well, they will get greedy.” Generosity breeds generosity. Good breeds good. The end. Any proof you have to the contrary is a mistake of observation, it is a mistake that will confuse and disorient you.

When you are happy you think clearly. Remember the child who we complimented for standing? We got them standing stronger not running in the road. They grew stable, not wild. If you are doing this you are focusing yourself and your people in the present while simultaneously knowing the future skill you mean to build.

But wait, what if they are special needs? Same deal. Different lessons more steps. More often. Same Law. I know, I raised six adopted special kiddos.

That is – in part – how I created the Lynette Law. Parenting the special child. The only difference between them and my neurotypical children was that I had to be minutely specific, with compliments and corrections.

And add a little Neurofeedback.

To be honest, while I was struggling to teach my special children I learned that the optimal speed of change in regards to learning happened when people got feedback on a four to one ratio. It was neuroanatomy class, and I was reading a study that I can no longer find. I was inspired.

I applied it to behavioral teaching, to loving, and then also to neurofeedback.

Neurofeedback is biofeedback for the brain and it gives its compliments (or Yeses) objectively, no judgment. It allows me to teach the brain before the brain resists the compliment. Then once the brain is feeling cooperative I use real compliments to shape the results. This combo is magical.

It has made everything easier, teaching, parenting, learning, everything, especially my mood. And a happier mood makes me better at parenting, teaching, learning– the infinite upward spiral.

I chose neurofeedback because it worked for every different brain in my differently brained house. It also worked on every different brain around the world. I now travel Abroad and call myself The Brain Broad! Because when you find something this useful, you just want to share it. Useful breeds useful.

I also chose neurofeedback because I could have it at home. It was handy, once I knew how to make it work, making it work was always accessible. This was a must have ingredient for me with my brood.

I think everyone needs to find their therapy, the one that fits their thinking and their lifestyle. Some people choose diet, vitamins, hyperbaric, meditation, chiropractic to name just a few. The important thing is to investigate and choose what matches you and yours, with the intention of staying out of the pharmaceutical companies pockets and staying in charge our own health.

For me, and all the people I help, that answer came in the form of neurofeedback at home.

Working with the brain taught me about the brain. Understanding the brain made me better at knowing if a theory being presented to me by any type of expert makes any sense for my family. For me, neurofeedback made sense because it “matched” my desire to grow more blissful, yet also more powerful, two goals that appear in-congruent but aren’t.

Neurofeedback helped me design and implement Lynette’s Law. It was congruent in my home by combining corrections and compliments in the right ratio. And because it matched my wishes and style, it didn’t set up a new stressor by adding something counterproductive.

You see the brain targets things, brings them into your focus, depending on your mood. If you are unhappy it shows you problems, and if you are happy it shows you solutions. So be happy. And define yourself.

What is it to be a parent, teacher, employer?

It is someone that leads the way.

Don’t confuse this with a tyrant which means to push and force and not care if your people want to follow.

True, change requires building a desire and then correcting problems. Understand, though, that problems are not a problem, they are the fuel of life. Problems are part of the equation for learning as long as we don’t add judgment.

Be congruent, complimentary and seek to know about your brain and body. Thus new ideas and solutions will be easier to come by when new problems and hurdles land in you and your children’s path.

Happy complimenting!!

Bill Cosby did us a Favor

We loved Bill Cosby.

We invited him into our homes, for years upon years. We adored him and the love he returned to us. We looked up to him, saw him as a father figure. In black homes, white homes, brown homes, and colorful homes, Bill Cosby was universally loved and revered. He encouraged us to laugh, almost always with family friendly humor.

Loving Bill Cosby felt safe.

Until we couldn’t ignore the whispers and accusations we were hearing anymore.

This confusion is always there, is frighteningly common, when a perpetrator is someone we love. And a person we trust and love is the most common perpetrator. Most victims-direct victims and indirect victims—are lost in the question, “How could he? How could she?”

In this way, Bill Cosby finally being officially charged for sexual assault is an important gift. We were all complicit and we are all now lost in the question, “How could he?” But we are also gifted with some answers. Not to the question that will leave us lost, but to the question of, “What do we do? What’s right to do?”

For victims of abuse everywhere (and also for our world in general) this is what we need to do: Learn how to love him, forgive him, not tolerate his actions, and not invite him into our homes. We need to do this universally.

How do we do that? It’s simple.

Charge him, if found guilty levy the punishment, and love him anyway. Take away his power to perpetrate, forgive him and forgive ourselves.

And this is how we need to raise our families, our communities. If someone does something harmful we charge them, levy the punishment/consequence, and love them anyway. Loving them anyway frees us from hate and enables them to become something new. If they are our children we also must add something, give them a new direction, a new way to be. We mustn’t leave them lost.

We know what it is to be lost. It’s dangerous and frightening. Which is why I always uncover and offer answers, in homes around the world, in my talks and videos and books, and while sipping coffee with my many wonderful children.
Bill Cosby did us a favor. He’s uncovered an answer.

His victims did us a bigger favor. They’ve insisted we accept and share that answer.

We must accept it and share it for all of our sakes.

I invite you to watch this short video where I speak about this issue:

Why Bill Cosby Being Charged Matters

International mental health expert and RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) speaker Lynette Louise would love to explain to your audience why Bill Cosby being charged is so important. Being charged stands apart from gossip.

Just a few bullet points:

  • If your abuser (in this case, Bill Cosby allegedly) isn’t charged then the victim worries that nobody can accepted him as guilty.
  • -Now the world of social services and the justice system have a record of the abuser being officially charged so things the victim and the victim’s family do for help is supported.
  • -When an abuser is charged then it helps in future possible cases or even when there’s suspicions behavior because there’s a record.
  • IMPORTANT: Years later, when the victim has healed (with the assumption of healing) they can help further their healing by using the document to prove that there was something that happened to heal from. Without proper charges, people will say there was nothing to heal from. that it was no big deal, and a victim easily slips away from further healing.

As an expert Lynette can truly explain this clearly. Lynette herself was sexually assaulted, raped, and abused but never had her abusers charged. When her daughter was then molested, she insisted on a paper trail, knowing how different it would be for her healing. She was right! Her daughter has proof, she has validation that holds up in the eyes of naysayers. Lynette doesn’t. This has been a challenge that she can use to benefit your audience as she can clearly express the importance of Bill Cosby being charged as it relates to his alleged victims, and other women in the world.

As one of the experts/victims in the documentary H.U.S.H, a confessional style documentary about Hollywood’s Uncovered Sexual Harassment (which will air on PBS next year) she can also suggest other experts and guests for an informative segment. 

I encourage you to contact Lynette Louise directly for more information and to schedule an interview. Lynette is located in Simi Valley, CA and can travel to your area or do the interview via Skype.

Short bio and contact info:
Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad is an international mental health expert. She is a speaker, author, performer, popular podcast host, neurofeedback & autism expert, and creator/host/therapist for the international reality series FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD, now showing on The Autism Channel. Her one woman show, Crazy to Sane, about mental health and abuse, invites laughter, learning, and toe tapping fun globally FREE every year in April (Autism Awareness and Sexual Assault Awareness Month). She is also the single mother of eight now grown children; Six were adopted and four were on the autism spectrum. Only one of her sons retains his label and remains dependent. She hosts the popular podcast A New Spin on Autism: Answers! and her latest radio show, The Brain Broad Builds a Brain, highlights challenges such as sleep disorders, Parkinson’s, depression, brain tumors, autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, and more. It’s a fun way to talk brain science for folks who are hoping to have a hand in healing themselves.
Contact Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD: Doubly Board Certified in Neurofeedback and working on her PhD in Psychology with a specialty in Psychophysiology at Saybrook University
www.lynettelouise.com www.brainbody.net EMAIL: mom4evermore@juno.com PHONE: 713-213-7682

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November is Adoption Awareness Month – And We Need To Talk About It

This is the month to honor Adoption but it Got Blasted under the table By Bombs, Shooters, Refugees and Politicians.

So nobody is talking about adoption.

But the strange thing is adoption is exactly what we should be talking about. Especially now. Surrounded by Bombs, Shooters, Refugees and Politicians.

Adoption is how we embrace people out of choice, instead of obligation.

I chose to adopt six children with challenges. I love all my children. Even the ones that came from my belly. But the adopted ones were more intentional. They had to be because the process was harder. Nobody just adopts six children because they got drunk one night and forgot to use a condom. Adoption is hard.

But so worth it.

I built a family of eight children into an army of love and acceptance. Their skills and their differences grew. They shone brightly. We were a rag tag bunch teaching each other and stretching the world around us.

Adoption is a blessing.

And so worth it.

My grandparents chose to adopt my father. He was three. They adopted him because no child had come their way. My grandmother must have wanted a baby very badly. I think this because in the old yellowed pictures of my grandparents my grandmother is always holding a doll. Always! She took it everywhere until the day my dad, a real child, disembarked from a train to call her mom. My grandma was a little crazy, but she sure loved my dad.

Adoption can be strange, immediate or long sought after.

And always worth it.

My parents chose to continue the fashion of acceptance and adopt my brother. He was the same age as my biological brother and an intended playmate. My adopted brother was of American Indian heritage and clashed with my folks. They found him awkward and slow and seemed to hate the way he looked and moved. He was left-handed and his elbows were always in the way. He was different. He had unusual boundaries and ideas. I loved him till he died and beyond. Adoption increased my heart; it made me more.

Adoption hurts.

Every ouch is absolutely worth it.

Adoption is hard. It is a natural occurrence that even animals undertake. But it is also messy and it doesn’t always end in Happily Ever After, yet it is always an opportunity for growth and improvement. If you choose it.

Right now adoption is our world’s chance to heal. We have separated into clans long enough to know that separation breeds contempt. Adoption is our chance to heal, to make humans a race again.

We need to embrace and teach everyone in every country to adopt each other.

It will be more than worth it.

I know it works because I already adopt families from all over the world.

I travel and teach and love family after family. They are all different. They are all being the best they can for their children. They are all a little messy. That is what human beings are. We are messy.
Especially when we are learning to fit into each other’s hearts.

My children puked and pooped and broke things much more and much longer than most children do. I just cleaned it up. Eventually it stopped. And then I saw their sweet shiny faces smiling up at me.

And it was worth it.

My parents never really learned to accept my brother and he ended up on the streets where he was murdered. This is not better than a little poopy mess. My brother, all brothers and sisters, deserve a chance to live and grow in peace. Even if the peace is messy.

You will never get rid of the mess. But you can make it a mosaic of luscious acceptance and constant growth. Open the borders and live with the mess of acceptance. That is better than the mess of prejudice and hatred. Let us adopt each other.

I already have. I adopt you. I love you. I promise to care what happens to you. Now… spread the word… There is nothing better than a little love mess. You are worth it.

Some Benefits of Being a Comfortable Introvert

It’s the time of year when many of us will be spending holidays with family and friends. For some of our more introverted family members this can be a bit of a challenge. I’ll admit that there are a few deficits to being overly introverted, nothing that can’t be helped with motivation and a little work. But for now, so that my comfortably introverted friends can enjoy the holiday armed with some specific benefits – you know, for those family members who love to taunt or tease – I’m going to focus only on the perks.

So don’t be shy! Have a peek at your perks:

1. Introverts are generally more efficient people and have the benefit of getting more work done since their need to socialize is lessened by their personality type. This, however, is offset by worry when they are introverted for reasons related to low self esteem or fear. So please, take the time to discover why you’re introverted or shy. Comfortable introverts are authentic to who they are, not afraid or unsure of who they are. (Please reach out to me if you’d like help in this area.)

2. Comfortable introverts are less needy for relationships and as such are able to be more discerning and, some would say ironically, are often more revered due to their aloof nature. (When a person is aloof others do not need to defend against their desperation and they end up attracted.)

3. They also tend to suffer less in the loneliness arena and are well fed emotionally by pets, chatting with folks in their neighborhood, and volunteer positions.

4. Additionally, the lack of need to be constantly social reduces costs in many areas like competitive dressing, one upping with cars and homes, and money dropped in search of connection via bars and dating services. They tend to invest with care and have a lessened need to get agreement from others on these choices. They also prepare for retirement more carefully as they conceive of being alone without fear.

5. All of these traits lead to some interesting benefits emotionally, financially and even physically since a hike, bike ride or treadmill adventure easily entertains and invites satisfaction. The lack of stress related to connecting with others causes a cascade of beneficial hormones as long as the introvert finds some connection somewhere (animals are often sufficient).

Enjoy your time with family, dear introverts! Allow yourself to step away when needed, armed with the understanding that it is completely fine to celebrate your introverted self.

Welcome to the Ghosts and Goblins of my Mind!

The night my grandfather died the phone rang late at night. I sat up and said, “Grandpa’s dead.” I was twelve. And he was dead. Inner knowing based on the logic of a late night call, or a grandfather vacuum in the air?

Six months after my brother was murdered my friend and I were playing with Ouija and a ‘spirit’ force moved the planchette, our hands barely touching it … it claimed to be my brother and told me that my husband was having an affair. It told me the particulars and the affair turned out to be true. Inner knowing disguised as my brother, or my brother disguised as a planchette?

The day my father died I was on the plane going to see him when he showed up outside my window. He said goodbye. I am sorry. Inner knowing and a desire for the apology, or my father needing to say something before leaving the planet? The time of his death turned out to be right then.

A lover that I had walked away from, making plans to reunite once my children were grown, died of an overdose. I saw a tumbling kaleidoscope of colors and emotions permeate my mind’s eye and VOILA! he manifested into my awareness. He stayed with me for a year and a half. Keeping me company. Healing my spine (verified by x-rays) and helping me survive the challenges of relocating to California. An invisible friend, or a friend made invisible?

Ghosts and Ghouls? Or Mind Goblins and Imaginary Friends?

I don’t know.

I also don’t care.

They are just a part of the fabric of my life.

They bring gifts.

Like The WingMaker. When a dear child died, her spirit lifted me out of my grief by sharing the richness of all I had given her, and the importance of seeing it all.

Even the Goblins.

Happy Hallowe’en!

International Mental Health Expert Clarifies on The Connection Between Violence and Autism

“There is a connection between autism, mental health, and danger,” admits global mental health therapist Lynette Louise. As an autism mother, Asperger’s individual, global in-home therapist and speaker, Lynette knows what she’s talking about. “There is an equally large danger in not being willing to discuss this truth openly.”

You won’t get the information Lynette is sharing anywhere else. Politics, knee-jerk reactions and a concern that autistic individuals will be stereo-typed and feared holds many tongues, but at what cost?

Lynette wrote an article titled Craziness Creeps up on us—Generation after Generation, which was published on OpEdNews.com. In this article she describes with candor, science and personal examples how this violence is often encouraged, if not created, on a national level by our unwillingness to take on the responsibility, or to believe in teaching our children sophisticated thinking.

In response to the horrendous horror of too many mass shootings, often ending in political posturing regarding gun laws and the mental health system, Lynette recorded a special episode of her podcast A New Spin on Autism: Answers with her once upon a time violent and autistic son, Rye. She also recorded a special episode in 2012 after the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting, wherein she takes us through the history of violence on a more personal, and surprisingly honest, level; as a mom and in her own home. Her youngest son (Rye) requested that she tell his story in order to help others. As a child he was known to accidentally kill animals, play imaginary games that included dead body parts and have violent meltdowns. As an adult he has been known to be the one that is taken advantage of, most recently having been attacked in his own apartment. Lynette skillfully shares his tale, uncovering the actions that have not only helped, but possibly saved him. In the more recent episode, Rye and Lynette talk about the more recent shooting and offer answers together.


 

One example of how Lynette suggests changing the story refers to the much talked about, rarely understood, autism meltdown. Lynette says, “If your child is having a meltdown, is screaming and hitting himself, do not run and give attention to the meltdown, do not yell at the child for the meltdown. Do react; stand in their presence and say, ‘when you are finished with that I would love to help you.’ If they are hitting themselves, offer them a squeeze. But do not do it as though you are saving them. Do it like you are teaching them how to help themselves, and then walk them through, logically, whatever led them to the meltdown.”

It is quite obvious that we are all connected, and that changing the story for one struggling family can matter for thousands, even millions, of others. It’s important that we be honest, and find answers.

Contact Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD: Doubly Board Certified in Neurofeedback and working on her PhD in Psychology with a specialty in Psychophysiology at Saybrook University  www.lynettelouise.com www.brainbody.net EMAIL: mom4evermore@juno.com PHONE: 713-213-7682

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Craziness Creeps Up On Us–Generation After Generation

Editor’s Note: This article was written in 2012, soon after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting and was published on OpEdNews.com.  In response to the Oregon school shooting recently we felt it necessary to publish this piece again. Largely because the insights and truths it speaks of are necessary and vital. But also because it is not okay to have to dust this off, if even, indeed, there had been time for dust to accumulate. It is not okay, and it is avoidable. Please read and share. And please reach out to the strange, lonely misfits in your neighborhood. They have much to offer and are waiting for acceptance.

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Way back when in neuro-anatomy class, I remember listening to my instructor go through the issue of operant conditioning and understanding the degree to which we – as people – were being conditioned by our environment. The teacher was talking about a rat in a maze and explaining that if the rat receives food for turning right in a maze, but not for turning left, then the rat’s entire being–from digestive system to social behavior– becomes conditioned to pay more attention to cues on the right. In fact, the rat begins to follow the maze and make predominantly right turns only, even when it isn’t hungry. I felt like I was being shown something special something that explained who we are and why we do what we do … because in truth … I think we are very much like rats in a maze.

The final shocker was when I learned that due to something called drive reduction, people/animals will accept almost any amount of torture or control as long as it’s done incrementally. Incremental change is hard to notice and easy to adjust to, thus if the imposed changes are of a sinister nature animals can twist and warp into someone they would rather not be, yet have no understanding of the fact that it has even happened. In my opinion as we’ve tried to make our lives better, with cell phones and microwaves, TV and gaming systems, we’ve actually slowly and incrementally made our lives smaller and more horrendous. Perhaps that is why when I go into homes and meet families with children on the autism spectrum I almost always meet a family with many diagnosis’ strewn about the parent generation. The same was true in my home, until I noticed.

In 1992 I started rebelling the use of television in my home and became unplugged, for a very specific reason. Having my children sit and watch whatever show or commercial that came across their vision meant that they were like leaves in the wind of societies salesmanship. They could be sold drugs, partying hard with a bottle of beer in their hands, violence as cool and strong, fast food as healthy and a multitude of other erroneous ideas. I wasn’t going to be able to control that. So we unplugged and I allowed only movies in the home. However, I had a lot of children so there were plenty of older siblings (and older sibling friends) to indoctrinate and influence my younger ASD children and their strangely perceiving minds.

Thus, it was necessary for me to really pay attention to what came into the house and how the children were receiving the information that they were getting as they went into the world. My children were half/half, I had eight all together and four of them were on the spectrum of autism. All four of my autistic boys were unable to logically process or understand the subtleties of what they were watching. So it was important that I teach them how. I sat and paused movies frame by frame and explained what was on them. I explained the thinking behind each scene, and I explained the message. The problem is that – as I inferred – I was a little bit crazy myself so for me to guide my children it meant I had to heal me. This has turned out to be a blessing. But when a family does not choose this path, they advocate responsibility to the government, to the educational system and others, losing touch with their instincts. And then they blame the others who are not doing the job that they have trusted them to do.

Unfortunately, the educational system, the government and the pharmaceutical companies do not know how to do this job. They are not to blame for trying. They are not to blame for not knowing how. We are all complicit as we choose to put (or allow) a video game or a television channel in front of our children and not sit down and engage. We are complicit, as we are too busy and they are left alone.

This is made even worse by the fact that the presently accepted method for helping people with brain disorders—especially autism– is to control them and treat them as though they don’t have the ability to learn or understand social subtleties, and to therefore create coping techniques and visual prompts rather than sophisticated thinking. We give up on them before we begin. We set them up and we reinforce at every turn their disability. We say things like ‘they are anti-social’ and they are uncomfortable in other peoples presence, and we make it so.

Maybe they did or do feel uncomfortable in people’s presence, but we help to make it bigger and bigger and bigger until the very act of being in public is so uncomfortable that one wants to demolish it. It is not the governments fault for not knowing. It is our fault for constantly yelling and screaming and finger pointing and wanting to blame. We should be listening and thinking and looking to ourselves and our children, and saying how can we refuse to accept the status quo, stop believing in the idea that life is hard, that life is scary, life is angry? How do we insist upon life feels good, I am happy, my children love me?

As long as we believe in labels above feelings, pain will be the result.

I saw a (fictional) movie, We need to Talk about Kevin, wherein it was mentioned that the child was possibly autistic or Asperger’s (though he is never diagnosed as such) and he ends up killing an auditorium full of children, as well as his dad and sister. When I saw the movie I was extremely moved by the way it was put together and tried to invite the director to be a guest on my podcast. I did not connect with her and I am sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t try harder, because maybe if I had spoken we could have created a different societal shell, and turned the tide on this. Because I do believe that we are all connected. Our thoughts create each other’s thoughts because we do these subtle things that reinforce the problem or heal the problem. When people are brave enough to speak out, like Joe Scarborough of MSNBC’s Morning Joe did when he suggested that the problem was how we handle mental health in this country, they are brave enough to say something that we don’t want to hear. We have choices. Take a deep breath and listen, searching for potential gifts that we can help our kids with, or ignore it, analyze it talk about it with others– but yelling and screaming at each other and ourselves is a distraction. Handing your kids to these educators who don’t really know what they are doing is the distraction. The only person who can really help is you. And you start by becoming happy, healthy, loving yourself and your child and their disability. That’s how it’s done.

And I know this because I have walked this journey with my own children. I have watched them go from confused and anti-social to violent to kind. At this moment in time we are dealing with the fact that one of my sons who made that very journey was recently attacked and raped at gun point in his own home by a random man. I am not sitting in anger because anger is a luxury. I am not running to save him without a plan for the future. The whole family has come together to support and help him. And we have tried to keep him from anyone who would tell him that he has no control and no power, because that will just make him feel more afraid. We are skillfully turning lemons into lemonade, even in this situation, because at the end of the day I want him to feel happy, healthy and independent. So he is looking for all the ways in which he may have signaled this sort of action. Not because we made him feel guilty. Not because he thinks this is his fault, but because he sees that as the method for recovery.

Finding a way to walk differently in the world so that he attracts a different kind of attention is what he sees as his possible power and a way to lead himself into a better future. My son was raped at gunpoint in his own home—he escaped through a bathroom window—and he is finding a way to turn that into something healthy. I challenge you to do the same. I challenge you to shift and recreate your own generation before you try to shift and positively influence the next one.
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CONCRETE TIP: Meltdown mode. If you have a child who is having a meltdown, who is screaming and hitting himself, do not run and give attention to the meltdown, do not yell at the child for the meltdown. Do react, stand in their presence and say, “when you are finished with that I would love to help you.” If they are hitting themselves offer them a squeeze, but do not do it as though you are saving them. Do it like you are teaching them how to help themselves, and then walk them through, logically, whatever lead them to the meltdown. Fear, anger and sadness are luxuries that lead to catastrophes.

Coffee For Sleep? Absolutely!

Happy National Coffee Day!

Before I managed to balance my brain with neurofeedback therapy, I was self-medicating for sleep with coffee.

If I had five cups of coffee I slept too late and a little bit jittery with a lot of interesting dreams.

If I had no coffee I didn’t sleep at all.

But if I had three cups of coffee I slept really well.

I listened to and trusted myself until I discovered my desired dose of coffee. My sleep medication worked well and was quite delicious!

That set me up for complete understanding of arousal and sleep. An understanding that helps me help families get sleep around the world. I generally use neurofeedback rather than coffee to help them, but first I listen to what they tell me about their self-medicating habits. Whether they use coffee, alcohol, sounds, lights, or other interesting things to help them sleep, an understanding of arousal and sleep (first introduced to me by my own coffee sipping sleep habits) is valuable.

When your brain is in a balanced place you sleep well; you weave in and out of sleep flexibly. When it’s not, you either need stimulation or calming down.

In my case, I needed coffee.

Think about it.

What do you need?

Happy National Coffee Day!

Getting ready for sleep.

Getting ready for sleep.

HALLOWEEN: The Holiday Made for Autism (With These Important Tips)

Spooky and wild. Scary and different. Kind of like learning that your family is now going to perk up and listen every time they hear the word autism. That doesn’t mean every day is like Halloween for these families. It isn’t. But Halloween can be an excellent opportunity for playfully fun learning’s.

Global autism expert, speaker/performer, author and—most importantly mom—Lynette Louise can help your audience (with or without autistic children) get the most out of this boo-tiful opportunity. Some of the actionable and perhaps overlooked treasures your audience will learn:

Imagination Appreciation: It’s often said that autistic kids have no imagination. Yet one won’t sleep without her clock pillow and another wants only to line up his trains and dinosaurs. What do we ‘imagine’ they are thinking? Halloween is the night for exploring and discovering who they want to be and what that looks like to them. With make-up and masks comes a chance to shape imagination. Teaching appropriate imaginative play is lurking…

Awareness in your Neighborhood: One of the ‘scary’ truths about autism is that often families avoid outings and teaching opportunities due to a lack of awareness and understanding in the world outside autism spectrum disorder. Halloween is an excellent time to introduce your quirky selves to the—let’s face it—curious neighbors. Autism awareness in your neighborhood can offer safety and friendship. They probably aren’t as scary as you think… and neither are you!

Social Skills: Whether your child is verbal, non-verbal, echolaliac or only interested in calendar dates, door to door small talk (or if your child is more comfortable, handing out candy to visiting ghouls) is a once in a year opportunity to teach spooky social skills without too much pressure, involved in parallel play there is no need for sophisticated interaction. And, there is the immediate reward of candy!

RE: Candy and its negative effect on our kids, esp. those on a special diet. Lynette will give your audience tips on how to deal with this very real issue, but the bottom line is that experience and teaching opportunities most often outweigh the negative side effects of an evening with gluten and sugar.

Your audience knows their own children’s challenges and strengths. Lynette will help them take advantage of this spooky night (and the days leading up to it) with intention and the important skill of fun learning! Together we can take a step toward taking the ‘scary’ out of autism! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Global mental health expert, Lynette Louise, raised eight children –six were adopted and four of them were on the spectrum of autism. She was able to guide all but one out of autism and into independence. Lynette travels internationally, performing and speaking on the subject of autism and the efficacy of neurofeedback (biofeedback for the brain). Offering play therapy, family dynamics counseling and neurofeedback– she effectively helps parents become confident experts in their family’s healing. She is the author of the inspirational and honest new book MIRACLES ARE MADE: A Real Life Guide to Autism and host of the popular WebTalk.net radio show A NEW SPIN ON AUTISM: ANSWERS! Her one woman musical comedy show CRAZY TO SANE raises awareness –and laughter –around the world and her international docu-series (airs on The Autism Channel) FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD offers FREE help to families with fun, kindness and concrete answers many types of brain disorders!

Contact: Lynette Louise, The Brain Broad- Doubly Board Certified in Neurofeedback, working on PhD in Psychophysiology at Saybrook University 713-213-7682, mom4evermore@juno.com, www.lynettelouise.com www.brainbody.net

International Docu-Series FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD, Season One (Uganda) Available to Rent/Own on Demand

FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD is an idea hatched out of Lynette’s desire to share her tools of change with thousands of families, globally.

Enjoy this trailer for the docu-series: Autism Docu-Series Trailer FIX IT IN FIVE with Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad!

Lynette Louise is eagerly invited into homes around the world where she teaches important attitudinal shifts and brain science to families struggling with brain disorders. As a mental health expert specializing in autism she travels tirelessly. Hundreds of children, parents, aunts, and grandpas have benefited from her passion and neurofeedback equipment. According to Lynette, “That’s not enough!”

By offering her services in a docu-series Lynette is able to give the five families willing to be on camera a free five day life changing therapy marathon. At the same time audiences are gifted with answers, entertainment, and an exampling of living life with creativity and intention.

Already audiences are watching FIX IT IN FIVE on The Autism Channel, where it has been aired in its unfinished form in six-nine minutes snippets, and has gained a faithful and action oriented following, affectionately known as “Fix it in Fivers.”

But now, after so many requests, fans and educators can view the DIRECTOR’S CUT of all five freshly edited and powerfully professional episodes via Vimeo On Demand.

Families and professionals now have easy access to six hours of entertainment that brings fabulous fun, tears and laughter, play and struggle, poverty and power while also offering brain science insights, environmental tips, behavioral instructions, explanations, and suggestions. It’s the most cost effective way to bring Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD and her skills at both teaching children and lighting a fire in your belly, into your home and community.

Season two of FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD will be airing on The Autism Channel soon, and Lynette recently returned from her trip to Israel where she’s just finished filming her work with the third of the five families that will be profiled in this unique and powerful international series.

“I’m exhausted,” The Brain Broad admits, “but I’m also more motivated than ever. These simple changes I teach, this playful life I encourage, heals in ways even I can’t always predict. It needs to be seen. Families need to know what to do. And people need to believe that regardless of labels and culture, miracles can, and should, happen almost daily.”

To learn more about the show, and to rent or buy season one for yourself or your local schools and libraries, please visit any of Lynette’s websites, specifically the Fix it in Five page here: http://www.lynettelouise.com/fixitinfive/ www.lynettelouise.com www.brainbody.net.

Contact Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD: Doubly Board Certified in Neurofeedback and working on her PhD in Psychology with a specialty in Psychophysiology at Saybrook University www.lynettelouise.com www.brainbody.net EMAIL: mom4evermore@juno.com PHONE: 713-213-7682
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A Healthy Brain is Flexible: This is Also True of a Healthy Group or Field of Study

*This post appeared first in three parts on BrainSpeak.com. I’m happy to share it with you here in it’s entirety.*

I began in the field of neurofeedback for brain regulation as a student of EEG Spectrum where they trained practitioners to investigate brain function challenges using a model of arousal.

To put it briefly, the arousal model uses data, history and diagnosis to investigate whether symptoms are related to under-arousal or over-arousal in relation to the desired brain wave activity in the specific brain region performing the functions being examined. This method was easy for me to grasp.

I then continued my education and experience by apprenticing under leaders in the field—an intuitive healer Catherine Rule of Optimal Brain Institute and a very brilliant neuroscientist with two PhD’s, Dr. Burke. Catherine Rule was a holistic thinker of human interaction while Dr. Burke was well versed in neurophysiology; married to problem solving brain issues by considering the neurochemical interplay between brainwave firing and neuronal behavior. I was was able to blend these two approaches into my investigative model of brain dysfunction.

Thus, the arousal model served me well, even as I adapted it to merge my two mentor’s styles and fit my clients with their very extreme sensory issues (I began by specializing in autism and brain trauma because that was the clientele I was already working with).

Meanwhile, the field itself was bigger than I had first realized and there were more approaches than the arousal model to learn from.

Such was the reality in the neurofeedback field back then, and – due to advances in technology and brain science- it has become even more diversified in its approach to brain rehabilitation in the past ten years. Thus, I found myself enamored by new ways of thinking and with the inclusion of the QEEG as a diagnostic must (Quantitative Electroencephalograph– QEEG– is the measurement, using digital technology, of electrical patterns at the surface of the scalp which primarily reflect cortical activity or “brainwaves.”) much of what I had previously done so effectively became antiquated.

Progress and the era of the brain marched on as I evolved in my attempts to keep up with it. Somewhere along the way I forgot some things.

Recently I was going over old footage of my son doing a neurofeedback session. In it he was talking at least as good as he does today, many years later. (Dar was a nonverbal twenty-three year old when we were first introduced to Neurofeedback. A year into this exciting therapy he had fluid monosyllabic language whenever I was with him.) In that footage from the past I rediscovered my old approach. It was a happy/sad moment to realize I had lost touch with what had worked in my search for what would work better. I took a step back and reintroduced the old thinking. He is, again, learning faster than usual.

Regardless of all the clients I see world-wide, in the end it is my family that teaches me the most. This, I suspect, is because of my ability to see them over so many years of development and then discover what works and what doesn’t.

Additionally, I am blessed by my business model creating a unique approach to this work because I travel home to home, school to school, country to country, dysfunction to dysfunction; training the brains of group after group. Due to a vast array of clients and cultures I have the opportunity to observe similarities and disparities: race to race, religion to religion, diet to diet. Armed with this advantage I have taken the arousal model concept and applied it in areas where a QEEG was not possible.

Using this approach I have compared symptoms and individual brain processes worldwide. Thus, I have been enabled with the opportunity to think creatively as I gathered more and more hands-on knowledge. I want to share what I have learned so that we might consolidate our discoveries and do even more for our very deserving clients.

However, there is a problem.

My own temporal lobe brain challenges make “traditional” record keeping a problem, and it leads me to wonder how I will pass on what I know and share responsibly with the field.

My own temporal lobe brain challenges make “traditional” record keeping a problem, and it leads me to wonder how I will pass on what I know and share responsibly with the field.

I have healed this issue markedly. I have healed to the point in fact where my difference is more of a gift than a challenge. This is especially true in regards to understanding and creating usable protocols for healing work with science based intuition. However, where report writing in a scientifically accepted style is concerned, I am still challenged.

This “difference” in my recording style came up for me recently when I was asked to contribute to an interdisciplinary magazine with pictures and graphs. You see, pictures and graphs make it harder for me, not easier.

Though I can take the stage and share what I know with flair and a photographic sense of recall for brain dysfunctions, though I can create movies, videos, podcasts and abstract visual art while orchestrating the edits in all motion mediums– graphs, still pictures and power point presentations still disorient me. When you include these in your work, I skip them. I am a word person.

I can write a book, straight from experience and memory, easier than research citations. I can use creative writing techniques to make learning feel like a plot driven novel, easier than stay awake while reading a research paper. In fact, I stay awake by doing all my reading research while walking on a treadmill. Unfortunately, writing a research paper is impossible to do while asleep or walking on a treadmill. For me, the redundancy inherent in the writing and/or reading of an APA style document, is absolutely exhausting. Fortunately these differences- between me and my colleagues- no longer mean I judge myself as broken.

If ever there was a field that helps a person to appreciate difference, it is the field of neurofeedback when viewed through the arousal model.

Previously held convictions– like that coffee and sugar are unhealthy and cause hyperactivity—shifted for me to the concept that they indicated the need to self-medicate, and assist the individual in their search for a state of balance. These habits became clues about the need to counteract under-aroused states and ensure survival. The fact that I would drink coffee in order to sleep was no longer crazy, just a bit of information on what I needed for homeostasis. Everything about me, my clients, my children and my friends, became evidence and led to ideas on how we could correct our imbalances rather than lean on our crutches.

Life became more accepting as my friends and I stopped arguing for each other’s preferences. The wine drinkers accepted the coffee drinkers, and the beef eaters accepted the vegetarians. Each of us assisted the other to adapt and find new ways to garner the same effects. We became helpers to each other rather than judgers of each person’s habits.

It’s a wonderful way to live and I would like to share this thinking everywhere.

At this point I am much farther along in my career and I want to pass on my experience and my learning, but my observations and solutions are still experience based rather than research or education based and this, I fear, means my ideas are sometimes met with a dubious attitude. However, hands-on is who I am and will always be where my knowledge primarily comes from. Even though I am close to finishing my PhD, my style of learning, discovering and sharing will always have that leaning. And that makes it harder to be heard. Or so I have told myself.

And then I remembered Dr. Burke.

He was proof reading my book MIRACLES ARE MADE: A Real Life Guide To Autism. He questioned something in it and I answered him from memory. He questioned even more, and each time my answers satisfied his need for clarity. He read the case study one more time and said, “We can’t deny your lived experience.”

And yet people do deny the lived experience of another, on a regular basis.

People deny the lived experience of another on a regular basis.

As I previously mentioned, I specialize in autism. And if there was ever a population wherein lived experience is constantly denied, it is this one. People immediately polarize the minute the word “vaccine” is mentioned and parents who want to share the story of their child’s vaccine reaction are forced to hide the truth of their lived experience. Rather than be listened to, these parents are shunned. They often respond by knuckling down into the idea that vaccines alone cause autism. Meanwhile, the parents whose child’s autism was evident before any vaccinations were ever given scream and fight against anti-vaxers, claiming that these parents are distracting the scientists from doing the real work. People begin to choose which camp they are in and the lived experience of all parties gets lost in the battle.

In my opinion, it’s the battle that stops the information gathering. We should not be polarized into oppositional groups. We should be cooperatively looking for the sameness in each of these stories. Polarizing perpetuates propaganda and does nothing for discovery. This is the same type of mutual distraction the coffee drinkers use when they insist that wine drinkers are bad, and vice versa. It is also the same type of polarization that occurs in every field or population wherein two or more main approaches to problem solving face off against each, for no other reason than to prove that they are right.

In my opinion there are no answers for everyone, there are just answers that fit some and not others.

With that in mind I will share a few neurofeedback observations based on the lived experiences of my clients.

1- Vertigo can often be stopped with high frequency reward training at c3,cz, c4.
2- Children with autism can often train for up to an hour and receive great benefits.
3- Cz can exacerbate and/or calm excessive erectile fascinations in people with sensory challenges.
4- The arousal model and my decision to high frequency train on the dopaminergic pathway-– neural pathways in the brain that transmit the neurotransmitter dopamine from one region of the brain to another — helped for dementia and depression, cognition and some movement in Parkinson’s. But the arousal method wasn’t enough to get the amount of change I now see and the ten plus year prevention of deterioration in my clients.
5- My son and several clients with severe ASD experience a calmed body with increased sensation in the mouth when I difference train 0z-fp2 @ 12-15. This awareness began as a happy accident and is the rediscovery of that my old footage of my son.

I could share more but this is enough to make the point that it is important to have a science based model to choose protocols, methods and equipment. However, it is also important to be open to just plain using what works. In my opinion, lived experience trumps.

Early in I was taught that a healthy brain is a flexible brain, one that doesn’t get stuck in any state or in the need for mood altering substances. I would have to add that for any field or social group to be healthy they must also be flexible, not stuck in the dogma of any particular model but free to dance among the possible solutions from group to group.

This, I believe, is what it means to embrace difference. And it’s an embrace worth perfecting because the treasures in this embrace are filled with all the different correct answers for each person in need.

Dear Auntie Carol–Book Excerpt for RAINN

Recently I was invited, as a speaker for RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) to contribute to a book they are soon publishing. A book that will include letters from survivors of sexual abuse.

I am honored to share, and hopeful that by remembering my past with candor, by revealing my memories, mistakes, and insights, I might be positioned to help a person now.

Well, that’s not entirely honest. I like to go big: I’m hopeful that it will help hundreds of people now and in the future.

This book excerpt is a little bit long and absolutely worth your attention. So I invite you to brew a mug of coffee or steep a cup of tea and find a moment. I encourage you to sit in the quiet while you read my words with volume.

And remember to sign up for The Loop so you’ll know when the book is available in it’s entirety.

Here it is friends.
A letter to my Auntie Carol.



Dear Auntie Carol

I don’t know if you remember or not but when I was twelve years old you were kind enough to let me stay in your home for a few days, it may even have been as long as a week. I was there with a cousin whose name I don’t remember. I do remember that we had loads of fun, just being alone in the country and playing in the fields. I had always loved that house. I was glad you and Uncle Gerald moved into it after Aunt Rose died. It was kind of weird when Aunt Rose’s husband married her sister. She was nice and all, but I preferred Aunt Rose so the house didn’t feel the same till they moved out. I don’t remember what happened to them. Maybe they moved away from all the reminders. It was all a very long time ago. They were elderly and I am sure they are all dead by now; reunited in whatever after life they believed in. Hopefully Aunt Rose wasn’t too mad at her sister. Who knows? Maybe she even appreciated it and was partying with her sister’s husband up in heaven. Life and love, as it turns out, is much more complex and sophisticated than I understood back when I was a child. I think that is what made my twelve-year-old attack of puberty so challenging.

Ah, puberty! What a cruel joke of evolution.

And that brings me to the point of my letter, and why much of my memories are so clouded over with the distraction of a more prevalent story.

Here is what I recall. I had had fun, felt warm and comfortable with you and Uncle Gerald, and enjoyed the company of whoever that distant cousin also visiting was. Likely it was someone my parents thought I would be positively influenced by, because now as I look back I suspect the whole visit was a sort of respite for my parents. Respite from the emotional instability my budding boobies and period onset invited. Acting out in puberty was simply a new kind of more perverse and confused acting out for me, and probably just added to my mountain of weird behaviors in the eyes of my parents. Back then I thought I was normal. I have since learned otherwise and wondered often how the strangeness of me influenced the strange happenings of my life. I have no answers for these wonderings. I just wonder.

So, indeed, it is possible that you were supplying respite for my parents and a positive influence for me. Whether that is true or not you were hospitable, asked for very few chores (which was respite for me) and I had fun. I want to say thank you for that. I don’t think I ever did write the thank you letter my mom asked me to send a few days after the vacation ended. Perhaps you felt ignored, unloved, unappreciated, but you were not. That is far from the truth of things. Sometimes gratitude gets lost in the grittiness of life. That is what happened. Life got gritty and so I shut my mouth.

I think its time I wrote you that letter; the one I never would have written.

Dear Auntie Carol

I want to thank you for your generous hospitality, and tell you what happened to me, and to you, even though you were unaware.

The night before I went home we all went out for ice- cream: You, me, Gerald, the nameless cousin, and your boys. It felt like a true adventure because you lived so far into the country that going into town for Dairy Queen was tantamount to a trip to Disneyland. We were all a little giggly with fun. I remember feeling light and silly and laughing and joking and pouncing from the truck the minute we pull into the parking lot. I wanted to run and prance about under the town street light with my cousin. There were some boys there, and I think I may have been flirting while we danced around. Though I am not sure because back then I didn’t understand the concept of flirting. I do know it was all very titillating and a great end to a wonderful trip.

There is something so exciting about the night air and a socially constructed accident of budding boys when you are twelve years old and displaced with relatives who live on a farm. The combination can really make a memory of delight. For me, though, this part of the memory is super hazy and I can recall just bits and pieces of sensations and emotions. Perhaps that’s because my sixtieth birthday loams a year and a half away. Apparently due to the energy cost of maintenance and the neuronal erosion of time a brain only keeps the important information intact; for me sensations and feelings have always been more important than names and dates.

So here is what I recall:

I remember the drive home was super happy. We were a truck full of laughter and smiles and I wondered if you and Gerald might adopt me. When we arrived back Uncle Gerald pushed and cajoled everybody but me out of the truck. He asked me to ride with him while he parked the truck. And you seemed to look at Gerald as if you and he had agreed on something. So you all headed for the house while we headed into the darkness of the Quonset. I guess I acquiesced to the plan, but I just don’t remember doing that because my ears were ringing too loud to plant the memory. I do remember feeling weird and dizzy.

Then when we got into the barn-like aluminum Quonset he parked the truck and put his hands all over me. He grabbed at my breasts and pawed at my crotch and slobbered his saliva into my mouth while telling me not to be a cock tease. He said that I was asking for “it” all night long.

This … was … unknowable to me.

It felt so completely out of the blue, so completely unexpected, so completely unbelievable. That my army veteran, buzz cut, body buff, uncle who had always represented safekeeping, hard work and fun, might grab at me in this way and say these words to me threw me into an adrenalin panicked state of confusion. I was scrambling to think. My body was being pressed and scrunched. My mind was being raped!

And the only way that my twelve-year-old mind could make sense of it was to think that he must be in love with me.

Then I did what I had always done, acted in control while searching for a way out of the problem.

I suspect that whatever I did or said stopped him more because it was too crazy to be sexy than because I was strong or threatening in any way.

I got out of the truck fairly unscathed physically. I ran into the house. I didn’t want to look you in the eye Auntie Carol because I knew I was about to ruin your marriage. So I slipped past you and went straight up the stairs with my eyes on my feet. I told my cousin that Uncle Gerald was in love with me and that I knew it was true because he just couldn’t keep his hands off me (a line I had heard in a movie somewhere). While we were whispering about what I should do and wondering if I was pregnant we heard you and Uncle Gerald downstairs laughing.

That was unfathomable. I couldn’t see how you could be happy while he was telling you he was in love with me and needed a divorce. I mean I wasn’t even happy. In fact, I was worrying that I would be stuck with Uncle Gerald and that I was going to have to fall in love with him. And I certainly didn’t feel ready to be a parent to your boys. They were boys, right? I don’t really remember the details of your family. I think that is because it’s all too covered in clouds of confusion and humiliation. But maybe it’s because I have problems with those sorts of details anyway.

Maybe I wouldn’t have remembered them even without this incident. That is what I mean when I say I was a weird kid. I often misinterpreted people and events. And I seldom remembered names and faces.

However, I have always remembered feelings.

I snuck half way down the stairs and watched while you and Uncle Gerald laughed and flirted with each other. That was when I realized that no one was going to speak of this thing that had just changed the course of my life.

I went home in a state of shock that, for me, was sadly familiar and felt normal.

A few days later my mom insisted I write the thank you note I had been avoiding. I was to give you and Uncle Gerald gratitude for your generous hospitality. I was completely conflicted. I wanted to thank you, tell you, scream at you, hurt you. I hated you and every one who was a part of the story that I couldn’t tell because manners dictated be grateful and be quiet. Keep your mouth shut has always caused a war in my head. A war of lies and truth battling for position. The teaching of “tell a grown up” was punching it out with “keep your mouth shut” and leaving me with no mental stronghold because the grownups were the ones doing things to me. So whom should I tell? My cousin hadn’t helped. In fact, if I remember correctly she laughed at me and facilitated my erasing her from my person specific memory.

My mom just kept at me and kept at me. Laying one punishment upon another for my refusal to write the note, and then finally I did it. I told a grown up. I blurted out “FINE! You want to know why I don’t want to say thank you? It’s because dear Uncle Gerald was grabbing my breasts in the Quonset.”

There. I told her. And I knew she would kill him. I would likely be writing to my parents in jail, serving time for murder, happy to be protected.

Her response was immediate and unsurprised, “Well knowing you, you probably asked for it. Just say thank you and be done with it.”

She echoed what Uncle Gerald had said about me asking for it. I was stunned into numbness. Maybe I had? I wondered.

Back then the “maybe” was frightening. Now in my senior years it’s a little more logical.

Maybe I had been asking for it because I was unaware of what asking looked like. Maybe body language in a curvy body is read differently from body language in a child’s form. In fact, now as I look back from fifty-eight years of life experience I know that that was probably true. When I was twelve I was discovering and blossoming and budding and growing boobs. I was also still behaving as I had done previous to this transformation. I was unaware that being friendly and fun had changed its messaging. A new component called flirting had entered into the same actions. No one told me. They just touched me and called me names. When I was eight years old and I was friendly, it was just friendly. But suddenly my boobs and pubic hair had transformed it into a silent form of provocation and penile torture called cock teasing.

Given the disgusted energy with which people said those words I figured that “cock tease” was the worst thing a girl could do.

A lot of things happened as a result of that misunderstanding.

A lot of things!

So here we are. Its many years later. I know Uncle Gerald was terminally ill so he has probably passed. You may even have passed by now as well. Eventually time takes every one of us, like the great equalizer, we all end up dead. Perhaps that is why it’s a good idea to write to you now? Because time is catching up with me. And an untold story never dies. Personally, I don’t really want to take it with me. Besides, maybe someone else can have a better life because of it.

At any rate I have been asked to write and so I will. I have learned at least that much. Share your gratitude. And while you are sharing, share your truth.

My truth:
I can tell you that Uncle Gerald’s pawing wasn’t the worst of the things that happened to me. Though not talking to you about it might have been. Uncle Gerald wasn’t even the first one to touch my body parts. Though he was the first to touch them with curves and hair.

Uncle Gerald not being motivated by love was the problem. Because then I couldn’t continue to believe in the lie I had been telling myself about why this sort of thing happens.

I closed my eyes really tight and tried not to think about it. And while I did that I decided that the one thing I would never, never be was a vile little cock tease. Love, I decided, only comes to the person who is willing to please.

Uncle Gerald never left you and dad never left mom.

I assumed you were both more pleasing than me.

Up until then I had decided dad stayed with mom out of love for us kids. That had given his needs a perverse kind of sense. But Uncle Gerald made it into something different. I could no longer believe in romance, soul mates or destiny. Because the incident with Uncle Gerald wouldn’t fit into my fantasy of romance, the walls had crumbled and this dirty feeling action now became something about me and men and my life ahead.

I had buried a lot of truths about grown-ups already. Tried hard to fantasize them into protectors and caregivers. My Quonset date with Uncle Gerald taught me that even the grownups in my family were more enemy than friend. I found myself alone amongst many.

I decided to bury it all, again.

But my damn mother just wouldn’t let me be impolite or ungrateful.

She blamed me, again.

Just as Uncle Gerald had done.

The walls of my carefully constructed defenses were now broken. I had spent so many years immersed in the art of mental gymnastics that it was a surprise to find myself unable to duck and weave from the truth. Surprise – to understate the truth – was extremely uncomfortable.

Suddenly, I could no longer trick myself into believing that the soft touching adults in my world had been loving me. Immediately, sensual touching and sexual touching became one. I wanted to throw up the word love.

Previous to Uncle Gerald I had been able to bury the truth of my father’s character by calling it romance. I wanted to love my father, by any name. Then when Uncle Gerald pawed me I was faced with a dilemma: see my father as bad or see Uncle Gerald as in love.

I chose love, again.

Most days I understood that my father had to stop loving me and stay with my mother. That made sense. I had siblings. They would be sad if I married my father. I had built a lovely little harlequin fantasy until Uncle Gerald burst the bubble by laughing with you at the foot of the stairs.

I tried really hard to keep the fantasy intact. That is the main reason I didn’t want to explain to my mother why I didn’t want to write the thank you note. I was afraid to look at the family I came from as people who condoned molesting. I was afraid to risk finding out that they were the kind of parents that blamed the child. I was afraid to realize that molesting was the right word for all of them. I was afraid. I couldn’t look at it because then I would have to see the true faces of my sensual father and my hating me mother and all that had come before. And all of that had been happening in me for years. So when my mom said, “Well knowing you, you probably asked for it.” I figured it was easier to believe she was right than to believe that all of you were all wrong.

For years after that my mom brought you and Uncle Gerald up to me on a regular basis. Always acting as if nothing had happened. Behaving surprised when I refused to be where you were. Mom invited, “Uncle Gerald and Auntie Carol are coming!” to gatherings that I had to hide away from. She brought you up and brought you up and even bragged that you were coming over to babysit my little sister, effectively forcing me to act out in anger as a means of keeping her, and me, safe.

Every time it happened I screamed, cried or cajoled, “Why are you doing this? Stop reminding me of them. Stop inviting them and talking about them. You know what he did.”

Yes. I kept the truth alive and spoke out to my parents but I never told you.

So here it is many years later and I find myself writing a piece for a collection of stories about sexual assault. The intention is to clean up unfinished business by writing a letter to the appropriate person. But most of my business is finished, out in the open, available to all who like to read. So I though about the concept and then… you… popped into my unfinished business file.

You– more than Uncle Gerald– are my unfinished business. I don’t want to address the person who molested and confused me, that is a done deal. I want to address the person I kept the secret from because I think that could have been the moment when everything had a chance to go differently.

I think if I had gone downstairs that day and bravely walked into all your laughter and said, “Aunt Carol. Uncle Gerald was just touching me in the Quonset. He must be in love with me and telling you about it. How can you be laughing? Aren’t you mad enough for a divorce? Even my mom was normal enough to threaten that.” If I had spoken this twisted truth you might have laughed for a different reason, you might have known I was weird (if you didn’t already) but you would also have known what happened, and that could have changed everything.

You see, now as I approach sixty, I understand that when a secret is kept from us a whole new series of events unfolds. Like how grown-ups teach manners and lies about adult activities and leave children ill equipped for the truths that their adolescent bodies encounter. Maybe for you, had you known the truth in that moment everything would have morphed into something magnificent.

Heck, maybe you were in on it. Maybe you both thought it would teach me a lesson to have a man call me on my flirting, in fact I have a vague memory of something like that being said at some point. But that doesn’t mean it was. My memory is flawed after years of trying to justify the why of the adults in my life.

And even though I have no idea what kind of skeletons are twisting in your closet, no idea if you maybe even like that sort of deception, I still doubt that living your life was improved by my silence. But, who knows? Maybe if I had told you, your life would have changed for the worse. But I doubt it. People who do yucky things tend to be yucky more and more often as time goes by.

One thing is certain, it would have changed for the better. For me anyway.

I am sorry I never gave you a chance to know enough to have a choice and take a new aim on your future life that is now past.

And that’s really why I wanted to write this to you. Because finally at this late age I understand that nobody gets to change the trajectory of their future into one of empowerment by keeping something hidden. In fact, the way to purposely grow in the direction we want to grow in, is not by avoiding problems, hiding from them and keeping secrets, but by saying, “Hey, there is a problem here. Something happened. Help me make sense of it. Let me tell you about it.”

In that moment even Uncle Gerald might have changed. He might have taken a new approach and corrected his aim. He might have apologized. It’s possible.

Maybe even you would have. One thing is certain I would have known what was really going on and in that moment I would have grown stronger. I would have grown aware. I would have re-aimed and changed my trajectory.

And that might have prevented the many rapes that followed.

Because it might have corrected my mistaken belief that manipulated sex was what love looked like.

So, if for no other reason than to straighten out a past mistake and grow stronger today in my retirement years, if for no other reason than to share with others who may be having the confusion of this experience in their lives today, I would like to apologize for flirting and being apparently irresistible.

And tell you that you were wonderful. Thank you for letting me stay there. Uncle Gerald was not your fault, unless he was.

Racial Wallpaper, Jon Stewart and The South Carolina Shooting

When Jon Stewart refused to tell jokes but instead spoke up on the shooting in South Carolina he used the term “Racial Wallpaper”. He explained that the black people in South Carolina drive on streets named after generals that fought against their freedom, that they walk under the confederate flag as they …. Live… reminded daily that they are not the people of choice.

These constant reminders of the local beliefs that serve as the backdrop for their daily living is what Jon Stewart was referring to as racial wallpaper.

The words hit me like a sledge hammer.

He was right! Hearing the term racial wallpaper helped me comprehend more than the horror of this horrendous incident… it helped me understand what to do. In fact, it got me excited.

Because I knew I had been doing it all wrong, I had been teaching backwards.

You see, I speak out on rape, abuse, racism, xenophobia, disability rights etc. and in most of these issues I use an analogy with which to explain how fooled we are by the evidence we see. I analogize the magician’s trick of waving dramatically his right hand while tricking us with his left. I was meaning to draw attention to the “truth” of what is in the shadows. But instead I drew attention to the trick itself. People imagined the dramatic movement because that is the part they had seen. They did not imagine the trick because the trick had tricked them.

They had no experience with what was behind the trick to imagine it with.

So even though I was trying to draw attention to what was behind the scenes I was in fact drawing attention, perception, and belief building to the distraction. No wonder people were left with the overwhelming feeling that something should be done but that they didn’t know what.

Then Jon Stewart used the term racial wallpaper and it hit me like a ton of bricks. In those two words he said what I have been trying to say, did what I have been trying to do. He took my mind to the behind the scenes and the way in which the behind the scenes is our wallpaper of abuse and assault and rape and murder and warmongering and racial hatred and all the other ugly aspects of American behavior.

Wallpaper is easy to understand.

Ugly wallpaper changes how you live in front of it. Ugly wallpaper changes what you think about. It distracts you without taking your attention because the brain is set up to ignore what it sees all the time, while still being shaped by its influences.

Some form or other of this ugly wallpaper permeates our every environment. It oozes personality and convinces without our conscious attention and it also provides us with the place to start. The wallpaper is the solution.

Take it down and put up something new.

Instead of just pointing a finger at what’s wrong and what not to do… do something simple and sweet. Let’s start with South Carolina. Let’s take down the wallpaper, the street signs, the flags, the frowns and justifications.

This is my request. If you fly a confederate flag take it down and put half way up- an American flag. And if you don’t live in South Carolina begin somewhere else. Look at your wallpaper. Find the direction to hate others or your selves and take it down.

Now put up something that says “people are wonderful and I can’t wait to love them.” If that is too silly to you then start with a blank wall and an intention to love. The rest will become obvious.

Put up some new inclusive paper with attention to intention. Invite human understanding and delight.

And voila! The America I chose to live in can become the America the movies convinced me I was choosing at the time. America Be Beautiful!

How to be a Village for an Autism mom this Mother’s Day– Lynette Louise of Brain and Body offers these simple tips

Simi Valley, CA Immediate Release: Autism expert Lynette Louise of Brain and Body agrees that every mom deserves to be pampered and recognized on Mother’s Day. For parenting partners and kids this is a great opportunity to prove that you appreciate the lengths mom goes to every day, by helping out for one! Unfortunately, moms of autism often get less pampered because families and friends aren’t sure what to do.
Global mental health expert, and more importantly, autism mom and individual Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad, would love to offer some simple suggestions!

 
Neighbors and Strangers:

#1 Think ‘Isn’t that child beautiful!?’

#2 Think ‘Isn’t that mom awesome!?’

#3 Think ‘How can I help?’

#4 Don’t think. Act! Open a door, push a cart, carry a bag, smile!

 
In-Laws and Extended Relatives:

Hire a cleaning lady that uses all natural products and send her to clean up the mess after Mother’s Day.

 
Siblings:

Engage in your special sib’s favorite game of repetitive behavior for at least an hour, and laugh a lot!

 
Parenting Partner:

Do ALL the child rearing for the day and then both of you go out to supper. (If the in-laws don’t do their job, hire a maid to clean-up the mess. If you can’t afford one, involve all the kids and do it yourselves.)

 
Best Friend:

Take her and her special child out while the house gets cleaned.

 
MOM:

Relax and trust your friends and family to do it all! You deserve a day!

 
Some of these tips and tricks (ie think wonderfully, smile and play favorite game with special sib) will make everyone feel more comfortable every day of the year. Surprisingly they also have the ability to help guide your children in skill acquisition and social comfort. Let Mother’s Day be an excuse to begin making those simple, brain changing adjustments! According to Lynette, “Sooner is better than later, though later is MUCH better than not at all.”

 

Lynette Louise aka The Brain Broad is an international mental health and parenting expert, specializing in autism. She is a speaker, author, performer, popular podcast host, neurofeedback & autism expert, and creator/host/therapist for the international reality series FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD, now showing on The Autism Channel. Her one woman show, Crazy to Sane, about mental health and abuse, invites laughter, learning, and toe tapping fun globally FREE every year in April (Autism Awareness Month). She is also the single mother of eight now grown children; Six were adopted and four were on the autism spectrum. Only one of her sons retains his label and remains dependent. Her latest radio show, The Brain Broad Builds a Brain, highlights challenges such as sleep disorders, Parkinson’s, depression, brain tumors, autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, and more. It’s a fun way to talk brain science for folks who are hoping to have a hand in healing themselves.
_________________________________
Contact Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD: Doubly Board Certified in Neurofeedback and working on her PhD in Psychology with a specialty in Psychophysiology at Saybrook University

www.lynettelouise.com www.brainbody.net EMAIL: mom4evermore@juno.com PHONE: 713-213-7682

Don’t Buy Into a Label or It’s Associated Myths

Allow me to share a short example of how buying into a label, and its associated myths, can cause you to reinforce the limitations of the diagnosis:

I recently had a friend visiting. My son was super interested in her and extremely stressed by her at the same time. His mood shifted daily from up to down to up and down. The minute she left his whole body shivered into a relaxed state and he softly smiled to himself.

I was pointing out the difference in his emotional state and my grandson said, “That’s how we all feel when we like someone a lot, nervous and afraid of screwing up.” I agreed and we continued to put away the groceries.

The echo of how completely my family understands that autism is a thing getting in the way of a person’s showing how normal they are inside whistled in my head and made me smile.

My son handed me a bag of groceries and noticing the lack of diet coke said, “Miffff mouya freff.” I said, “I am sure you do miss her but it’s nice to have you calm again.” “Yeff,” he agreed.

I stopped attending to groceries and followed with a lesson, “By the way my only has one syllable. Try it ‘MY’ …..” I modeled.

And so it goes.

If we had believed he was stressed by the social aspect in a way that is autistic and so responded according to the myths, we may have supported him differently. We may have treated him as if his verbal approximations meant he doesn’t talk and ignored the feelings people say he doesn’t have. In fact, we might have told people it was too hard for him to have company so please don’t visit. We might also have said, “He doesn’t like to be touched.” and preventing the goodbye hug that made her smile.

Had we believed in the myths, he would have never had a friend to ‘mifff’.

Instead we celebrated the normal. We worked on the challenge of being understood. All  while putting away food… his very favorite thing.

Something to think about!

Autism Awareness, Mother’s Day, and Parenting.

As Global Autism Awareness Day (and my birthday) approaches, I find myself assessing the state of things.

I reach out to make a difference daily, but do I? Make a difference I mean. Are things simply fated and occurring as they had to or do I, we, affect (intentionally or not) the world we live in? I have always believed in a multidimensional world manifested by our choices and feelings but… am I right?

It’s like asking if there is life after death. Unanswerable by any other means than faith, which is defined as the ability to believe in things despite evidence to the contrary. Delusion is defined in the same manner. I, and my children, worked hard to go from crazy to sane (I even wrote a musical comedy show about it). I am not sure I want delusion.

But sometimes life is hard.

And delusion or faith or just plain lying to oneself can be tempting.

So I go ahead and believe I am making a difference because that is how I get the energy to continue. I need energy because constantly giving to create more kindness, awareness, and ability depletes my resources. Believing it—and I—matter, refuels me.

However, sometimes this faith falters. For me that faltering generally happens near my birthday (I am now only a few years from 60).

April 2nd, Global Autism Awareness Day.

I peer forward into the next twelve months. I see April with autism awareness month and sexual abuse awareness month coincidentally coincide and feel the weight of that collision (both are causes I speak on).

Today I feel a little tired as I question my faith: If awareness works why do these months have to come back every year? Couldn’t we as a society actually learn and reclaim them for something else? Why do we set up the parents of children with autistic spectrum disorder to scream for more services without offering the correct type of service? Are we spreading awareness of the disorder or the therapies that work? Are we improving the situation or just creating more problems through the spread of broken ideas? If you think your child is autistic will you make him/her so? This is a genuine worry, especially true in the case of sexual abuse. Surely by now everyone knows never to touch children, that consensual sex is better than non-consensual sex? This is just truth (unless you’re dysfunctional and then you need to get help, not sex). Surely by now every one knows that no means no…. don’t they?

Please say yes.

Even if the real answer is no.

Obviously you can’t spread knowledge unless people are listening.

Clearly you can’t force feed people volumes of right answers, not even if you think they need to hear them. So to be an improvement leader you have to find a way to package the learning into what they want to know. This bait and switch process of information dissemination smacks of the corruptive processes politicians undergo in an attempt to become popular.

I do not want to grow up to be the person that used to care. I do not want to be, like the politician who has become unrecognizable to him/herself or their original cause.

I want to be me, but older.

Unfortunately, to some degree this adjusting away from truth is already happening to me. It’s an offshoot of systematized education. As I go to college and attempt to be accepted by my teachers and peers with PhD’s I become a pleaser whenever the end of a term begins to loom. I tell myself to just give them the answers they want to hear so that I can move on and gain the needed credibility to be listened to later on when I tell the harsher truth. When I give the answers they may not like. Unfortunately this ‘pretending’ leaves a resonance of reshaped belief in my head and what I used to understand becomes morphed into something new, and not necessarily better.

I still want to shout about abuse and autism and society’s contribution to both but I am busy doing the work of making it better, so there is often no time to complain. This is good, I suppose. Proactive and correct. But it grows only small potatoes in the world of massive change. To increase my impact I must be more mainstream. I consider the concept and find myself back at the question I started with. Do I make a difference?

Bothered by the repetition of the question I move my mind on into the next month of the year ahead…

I continue forward into May and mother’s day and wonder if my new creation, The In Home Parent Program, will ease struggles or fall on deaf ears. Do haggard mom’s tired of being judged by misinformed educators and child protective service workers have enough left in their soul to trust me, another expert? I know they should, but can they? I have made it as inexpensive as possible while still meeting my own obligations. But after all of the target marketing their desperation has attracted, do they have anything left? I can teach them what to do but it will still require work. I know what they need in order to cease the desperation but can I give them what they want? I can give them fun, but maybe not easy!

So I focus the program on my tribe, the families that already know my value and want more. I shape it into a way for them to get extra help for free while we spread right information to their neighborhood. Then I add a Skype portion. In case the new interested people are still too shy to share their home. Too afraid of judgment to have an expert in their home.

This is the special needs parent form of post traumatic stress disorder. For those who feel safe I offer to come to their homes. I am a different kind of therapist. Sure I am a neurotherapist and play specialist and those are elsewhere in the field of mental health, but I am also many times over a mother of successful special needs children who (unknowingly) used to be special needs herself.

It’s been a long successful journey and I know what mothers need but I also know why they are afraid. Why they end up wanting something that won’t really help. Unwilling to offer less than what I believe they need, I stop thinking about it and move on to… June.

June brings with it Father’s Day and college holidays and I wonder if I will ever remarry and/or finish my PhD. My mind circles back to the challenges of both being in school and dealing with schools. I ponder the permanent restructuring of my brain and the scarring of parental self-confidence caused by the imbalance of power given to government officials. Government officials who are blessed with the ability to charge parents for the slightest suspected transgression while the parents would have to go out of pocket to charge the official in return.

Conversely (or maybe because of this) July and August feel warm and happy in my mind’s eye. Grand-kids are everywhere and work is light. My used to be challenged children visit and I settle on the reverie, stop looking ahead…. Breathe my faith back into my body and smile.

Yes, my birthday is coming.

Yes autism awareness will likely misinform most families but my kids got better and at least some people will be looking for ‘how I did it’ information. These are the ones I want to teach.

Fact is, big potatoes can grow from small potato seeds. I am happy to sow those seeds another year. I am happy to focus and share and get this parenting program into the hands of the people who want to enjoy their children while helping them grow more capable. I am energized!

Focusing on my gifts: my beautiful trail of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren has returned my faith. In fact, the journey into uncertainty seems frivolous now.

Obviously I made a difference.

I engaged in parenting and helped my adopted sons and daughters beat the odds. They are independent and working at jobs they love. They live the life of choice and responsibility. And even the one who is still at home is growing more capable daily. But even if he weren’t, who cares?

We are happy and during the holidays, we play.

What else is there?

Limited Time Offer: International Reality Series FIX IT IN FIVE with THE BRAIN BROAD, Season One (Uganda) Available on DVD

Feb. 12, 2015-Simi Valley, CA: FIX IT IN FIVE with LYNETTE LOUISE aka THE BRAIN BROAD is an idea hatched out of Lynette’s desire to share her tools of change with volume.

 
Lynette Louise is eagerly invited into homes around the world where she teaches important attitudinal shifts and brain science to families struggling with brain disorders. Hundreds of children, parents, aunts, and grandpa’s have benefited from her passion and neurofeedback equipment. According to Lynette, “That’s not enough!”

 
By offering her services as a reality show Lynette is able to give the five families willing to be on camera a free five day life changing therapy marathon. At the same time audiences are gifted with answers, entertainment, and an exampling of living life with creativity and intention.

 
Already audiences enjoy watching FIX IT IN FIVE o n The Autism Channel, where it has been aired in its unfinished form in six-nine minutes snippets, and has gained a faithful and action oriented following.

But now, for a limited time, fans and educators can order the DIRECTOR’S CUT of all five freshly edited and powerfully professional episodes to add to their DVD collection. For the next few weeks families have the opportunity to purchase, and learn from, this amazing six hour set!

Lynette Louise will be accepting orders until Feb. 22, and all DVDs will be mailed out by Feb. 28.


Six hours of entertainment that brings fabulous fun, tears and laughter, play and struggle, poverty and power while also offering brain science insights, environmental tips, behavioral instructions, explanations, and suggestions. It’s the most cost effective way to bring Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD and her skills at both teaching children and lighting a fire in your belly, into your home and community.

 

Lynette is returning from her trip to Israel where she’s just finished filming her work with the third of the five families that will be profiled in this unique and powerful international series.

 
“I’m exhausted,” The Brain Broad admits, “but I’m also more motivated than ever. These simple changes I teach, this playful life I encourage, heals in ways even I can’t always predict. It needs to be seen. Families need to know what to do. And people need to believe that regardless of labels and culture, miracles can, and should, happen almost daily.”

 

To learn more about the show, and to purchase DVDs for yourself, your local schools and libraries, please visit any of Lynette’s websites, including the temporary one built specifically for this offer. www.fixitinfive.webs.com www.lynettelouise.com www.brainbody.net.
Contact Lynette Louise aka THE BRAIN BROAD: Doubly Board Certified in Neurofeedback and working on her PhD in Psychology with a specialty in Psychophysiology at Saybrook University
www.lynettelouise.com www.brainbody.net EMAIL: mom4evermore@juno.com PHONE: 713-213-7682
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Domestic Abuse: It Begins (And Ends) With You

Domestic Violence is a form of abuse that begins with you.

Zero tolerance can only be achieved when we apply the rules to ourselves, and zero tolerance is the only way to create a peaceful way to play. So say yes to zero tolerance, everywhere!

You may feel you already apply this rule to yourself. You may be wrong.

Let me explain.

I was terrified to do it but did it anyway:

When I was a seven or eight year old little girl covered in welts from top to toe I asked my teacher for help. She asked me to prove I had welts right there at the front of the class. I attempted to pull my leotards down in a subtle fashion. I managed to expose a little thigh to her without revealing myself to the other kids. The welts in that area had gone, relaxed back into my skin and blended into nothingness. My cheeks were more inflamed with humiliation than my legs with abuse. She said I was exaggerating and I never asked for help again. This choice, born of this unsupported experience, put me in mortal danger many times in my life.

A lack of action taken by the teacher implied to me that the actions being taken upon me were acceptable.

I was terrified to do it but did it anyway:

When I was a young adult I saw a woman beating her toddler in a car parked in a department store parking lot. With trepidatious feet and shaking hands I headed to her car. I scarcely made a sound as I timidly knocked on her window mid-slap. My voice quivered as I asked her if she needed help. I said I often felt exhausted with my kids and wished for help, so wondered if she could use an extra pair of hands. The child’s eyes looked at me pleading for help. I said she sure is a cutie, huh? My knees were weak and I knew if the lady had a gun she might shoot me, but that little girl sure needed help so I stood my ground. I hung in there till the mood changed and the child was asleep. By then security had arrived. I went to my car and succumbed to shock and fear as I cried and trembled.

An attack of hatred or outrage by me would have put the child in more danger as the mom chose to justify her behavior.

I was terrified to do it but did it anyway:

A woman was surrounded by four primary school aged rambunctious boys circling her in the airport while she tried to solve an obviously stressful problem on the phone. Her fifth and oldest boy was being forcefully handheld to keep him safe from his own impulsive choices. He was clearly on the spectrum of autism and less than happy. Most of the people near by were eye rolling, tongue clucking, head shaking judgment passers. Some of the others were simply pretending not to see or observing with pity in their eyes. I started singing a silly song to get the four boys’ attention and made it into a turn taking game that used real words. This allowed me to “audition” for the role of helper. She looked at me suspiciously then cried at the phone, “No don’t put me on hold!” I used the moment to introduce myself and my background with autism and she let me care for her kids while we waited for our plane. She was a good mom with too much to do and in crisis. She kept an eye on me but let her kids be entertained.

As we boarded the plane someone, meaning to compliment me at her expense, asked me if I could arrange to sit near that family so the whole plane need not suffer.

Sarcasm and an attitude of inconvenience by the onlookers gathers them into a likeminded gang of haters and ridiculers.

Comedies often capitalize on this as comedians complain about crying babies, and sitcoms show the challenge of sitting next to someone “special”.

The problem is as we gather to laugh we are trained to agree. I remember being in a family therapy group and doing some role playing. One of the moms in attendance was incredibly funny. Her humor was very Rosanne show like and full of sardonic comments about her children. They played along. They laughed and responded. And the teenage girl had what others perceived as an unexpected meltdown.

While watching this I understood why my own teenagers had asked me to stop doing stand-up comedy jokes about child-rearing. I also understood the degree to which we as a consumer of entertainment and information are complicit in abuse. I was relieved. I had spent a lifetime looking for a way to intervene in the cycle of abuse and here it was, simple and obvious, don’t participate.

I switched for a bit to being sympathetic rather than amused, but then I noticed another issue: Sympathy makes it bigger too. It seemed that whenever I flooded my system with sympathy I was unable to think of anything other than commiseration, and totally unable to take abuse cycle interrupting action. I remembered how when I was a child my father’s mother had loved listening to me complain about my mom. She was attentive and interested as long as I was complaining. Attention was often lacking in my home so I soaked it up, and complained. I then heard myself. I felt worse and worse which led to my behaving worse and worse and got me punished more and more. Sympathy, it seemed, was like inciting a riot. I stopped.

I even tried hate for a while. I hated abusers, especially those in revered positions of power. And while I was hating I almost hit my little girl who refused to hate with me. Hate it seemed was full of energy aimed at whatever moved. I considered the scene in Mash when Colonel Potter gets fed up with a suicide loving dude and starts choking him. The guy who wanted to die fought to live and I realized two very important things:

1- Television teaches

2- Humans fight for their rights, to live, to love, to hate, to kill.

I decided to choose what I fought for.

I was terrified to do it but I did it anyway:

I decided to not hate, sympathize, or ask to be saved.
Instead I chose to love, save, and admire everyone.

I decided not to use performing, writing, and speaking to become popular and do what was wanted, but instead I write the joke, the story, the song with a lesson to the person who judges.

Turns out people are essentially good. They want a way out of the pain and into pleasure. And like electricity they will take the path of least resistance to get there. With the right information that path will lead you home. And that is good news because…

Here is what I learned:

1. Zero tolerance begins at home.

2. And sometimes miracles happen.

As I chose to choose well, I had zero tolerance for negative influences in my children’s lives. I figured if I could break the cycle of abuse for them, I might break it for all related generations to come.

Many of my children were multiply handicapped, and I was usually single, so most would think I should have asked for help. And I did. But I did it with zero tolerance.

If the choice was smooth a spouse’s nerves or teach my child the correct lesson, I chose my child.

If the choice was to keep the peace with school employees even though what they were doing wasn’t helping. I chose my child and moved.

They grew up fast. There was no time for living in a mess any longer than it took for me to concede we were in one.

When caregivers took more energy than they gave, I chose my children and moved on without their help.

When my career meant my children were left behind I quit, and quit, and quit…

My children were always more important than money, always.

This applies to all children, even if their father is in the NFL.

I chose my children. My children all improved beyond all odds.

Had I chosen differently some of them would be in institutions.

For example three of four multiply diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome (they are adopted) retardation and autism came off the spectrum, and one continues to improve. Understand that in my home there was abuse as we learned, we just had zero tolerance for it and so, the story unfolded differently.

So yes, we need zero tolerance of the players in the NFL, the police, the politicians any time they commit abuse. But that type of unanimous decision making won’t happen until we have zero tolerance at home.

Fans have to prefer losing games with kind fathers to winning games with abusive ones. Women have to prefer gentle-men to macho men, and when the police pull you over thank them for doing their jobs. If you want heroes in jobs that require nerves of steel and emotional stability, treat them like heroes for their kinder acts rather than their sensational news making ones.

Stop talking about it and choose your child. Change the story now, by talking about life’s beauty and teaching your children to do the same.

You may be terrified of being laughed at, afraid to act so different, but do it anyway.

My daughters and sons, all eight of them, are miraculous stories worth being awe struck by, they beat the odds.

You can choose the life you want to live in, and then step into it.

If you need help understanding how, seek me out. I am happy to help.

Violence: Don’t Make It An Option

Why do we have to see it or hear it to care about it?

Often we care when we hear about a terrible or awe inspiring event, but it’s only when we actually hear a tape, see a miracle or watch a gritty security camera of real people engaged in actual behavior that we care all the way to our core and are effected deeply enough to be moved to act.

I know this from experience. That is why I am taking cameras with me to work, because writing a book (MIRACLES ARE MADE: A real Life Guide To Autism) isn’t sufficient, people have to see it to be moved enough to be spurned into action. I solved the “people need to see it” conundrum by recording the amazing improvements my brain challenged patients experience and then making it available for viewing (FIX IT IN FIVE on THE AUTISM CHANNEL). TMZ solved the conundrum by showing more truth than it previously had, it went from showing Ray Rice dragging his wife from an elevator to showing him punching her and knocking her out. People were outraged and the NFL took action. Rice was permanently removed from the Baltimore Ravens.

Of course, it had already been reported that he punched his wife and dragged her out of that elevator before we saw it but … well … seeing is just a little harder to minimize or pretend away.

Why?

Because when you hear about something you use your own memory system to imagine the event. That is why you should be careful what type of visuals you put in your memory banks and where you get those images from. You may get them from horror movies or video games. You may also draw them from some moments you observed or were engaged in during your life. The tricky part is that, because you lived through it and then thought about it, you have already created beliefs around it.

The brain is a slippery little organ associating everything it creates with everything it has created before. And as such that punch could remind us of the time our best friend punched someone in high school. Since we forgave our friend it feels right to forgive Ray Rice. We don’t even know why we feel this way, we just do. We relate, we forgive, we love and we hate based on our own lived experience especially when we imagine.

But then we see it for real. No Hollywood camera angle, no similarity to ourselves and think, “How dare he and why hasn’t’ he been fired???!!!” Along with, “Of course I never felt any other way than this, I have been angry all along!” because the brain also erases and rewrites the truth in order to be congruent with our emotions.

The exact same emotional and mental blindness happens to people when they are angry. They behave terribly. This is not an excuse, just a bit of information to help with.

In my opinion there are no excuses.

Since we are all equally blinded we must all be equally agreed that no abuse is acceptable.

I have been very angry many times in my life. I have been blind. Grief especially makes me feel this way. The difference is, I decided violence is not an option. I made an active decision.

I was raised in a home full of kicks, slaps, punches, hair-pulls etc. My family was angry, blind to the truth, unable to hear anything originating from outside themselves. I have counseled many others with all the same issues and dealt with violence from many, many, many, different brain disordered people. And from all that life experience, here is what I am sure of, when violence is not an option and we have practiced alternative choices, we don’t commit it.

Let me say that again. When we have practiced behaving – even through imaging – and violence is not an option, we don’t do it.

The army knows this. That is why they train you to believe deeply and react consistently. Our ability to think creatively is arrested during these extreme emotions but our ability to react out of habit remains.

So practice; being kind, flexible, informed, armed with choices and don’t make violence an option!

It is as simple as that.

The Forks In The Road And The Things We Pick Up Along The Way

When my boys were teens I was on the road doing stand-up comedy with Pauly Shore and company and realized I had finally made it to the point where this could be not just my Canadian persona but my American career. The other comics and I hung out around the pool, went touristing and basically fooled around all day. Then we worked (which is also like fooling around) for a few hours and went out to celebrate.

It should have been awesome, but it wasn’t.

Because … I knew my kids were waiting at home not having the same degree of success and freedom. That was the day I decided to quit performing and become the teacher. I committed to four years without a stage. I took my kids out of school and taught; talking, reading, math, social skills, eye contact etc. Two years later we worked on job skills.

By the four year mark I could return to the stage. The kids had changed that much.

The problem was I had changed that much too. 

I now had new gifts to share. So, I began teaching and healing brains.

When I moved to California I put the two me’s together and became a therapist/performer who speaks, jokes, and sings about the brain. I love it.

But I still miss pure stand-up. Being a stand-up comedian is freer than being a super interesting teacher. When you are a stand-up in a bar or at a club there are no boundaries. Sometimes I wish for that again.

Last night I got it, I did stand-up.
OMG THAT WAS FUN!

My Reason Why

Most of the time I tell stories about my son, Dar. I did raise eight children but I mostly discuss Dar. Six of the children I raised were adopted and one of those was Dar. Four of the six were diagnosed with autism, fetal alcohol syndrome and many resulting other disorders. The lowest functioning was Dar. All the adopted children were abused. The 4 ASD boys were also malnourished and severely neglected. The worst neglect happened to Dar. (He was locked in a closet for years)

I worked very hard to help my kids learn. To heal myself and my family I had to address many demons and grapple with science, education, therapy techniques and money (not to mention men). Two of the four improved enough to move off the spectrum, one still hovers in the weird zone of not quite diagnosable but … well … definitely still something. All three of them are independent and have been for a decade.

But Dar is not.

Someone asked why I force him into all my videos (an exaggeration by the way) and expose him to the public at every turn. Here is my reason why:

I was standing at a movie theater noticing all the frightened faces of the people in line as they shifted away from my slow functioning, minimally verbal, occasionally smelly, man son and I thought “This sure would be different if he was the star of the movie.” I giggled to myself to think that “then they would want his autograph.” And got an idea.

The idea was brilliant for a few reasons
1- He wants to be independent and an actor
2- I want to change his environment and make a world of acceptance. If not for all then at least for him.
3- The media generally only shows higher functioning savant like ASD people. Thus these beautiful people are invisible to the general population and remain scary. But, the thing is, once you know my son and others like him there is nothing to be afraid. My son is a wonderful person.

So I put him in my videos, to expose him, to you, so you can love him too. I tell you about him for the same reasons.

The camera loves Dar. It just might work. True I also make these videos to help you, so that you can hear me, but in fact

Dar, is my reason why.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPhBzBK5Wak

CAmerican Culture and Beliefs

As a card carrying CAmerican people often ask me what the difference is in my two cultures. Of course the differences are many while at the same time few, but if I had to narrow it down to “What makes a country go down it’s particular path on the decision tree of life? How is it that such close neighbors can come out with so many different policies?” it is this:

American culture supports a viewpoint that is more morally opposed to sex than violence.

Canadian culture supports a viewpoint that is more opposed to violence than sex.

These two very different fundamental viewpoints lead to very different outcomes. I am not making a moral judgement, I am a CAmerican— I adhere to both, depending on the context. If I am advising anything it is that one should concern themselves more over the context than the conditioning.

Be aware and purposeful because your beginning beliefs grow a very different style of person, family, country, household rules, laws, rewards or punishments….

If you believe it is bad, that is what you teach. If you believe it is good, that is what you teach. If you believe it is possible, that is what you teach. If you believe it is not possible, you call believing it is possible false hope.

If you believe they can’t or you believe they can, that belief chooses the path.

NOW CHOOSE!